Reddit Accident
by TheReaper999
Summary: I closed my eyes. When they opened, I realized I was staring at my favourite anime character of all time. When I looked at my reflection, I realized I was staring at his rival. Let's see now... To screw up the plot with my ODD, or to try not to screw up the plot? That is the question. (Sasuke-SI. Nicer Sasuke because I don't think I'm a dickhead but I might be a little tho still.)
1. First Impressions

New story! Yay?

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**1**  
**First Impressions**

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I chuckled as I scrolled through yet another dank meme on Reddit. "On my life, Reddit is one the best things invented by man," I said to myself. There was no one else in the house so I liked to talk to myself. I scrolled more, coming across a post in the r/NarutoFanfiction subreddit. _Story Ideas Thread_ was the title. I was curious, so I decided to check it out. As I scrolled through the comments, a smile bloomed on my face at some of the ideas. "Interesting," I said as I saw some interesting ones. "Cool," I said as I saw some cool ones. "What the fuck?" I said as I saw some absolutely shit ones.

Finally, my eyes fell upon one: _You, the person reading this, wake up to find yourself in the Naruto world as Sasuke the day after the Academy Final Exams._ It was made by someone called Raesong. Interesting name. I rubbed my chin as I thought about what I would do if some shit like this actually happened.

The main reason I got interested was that out of all the characters in the Narutoverse, Sasuke is my most hated one. I seriously hate everything about him. The way he refuses to accept help. The way he betrays his own people for 'power'. Fuck that guy.

"Self-centered arrogant little fuckhead," I mutter to myself as his image popped into my mind when I closed my eyes.

"What was that, teme!?" I heard a shout from beside me.

_**WHAT THE FUCK!?**_ I mentally screamed as my whole body tightened, ready to lash out to anyone nearby. I was alone in my house so there shouldn't…

This wasn't my house…

I looked around more until I looked to the right and saw two striking cerulean orbs boring into my eyes. Not only that, but the face had three whiskers marks on each cheek. This… OH SHIT THIS WAS NARUTO!

I looked around more and saw all kinds of different people staring at me. There was Sakura and Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji, Hinata, Shino, Kiba, and I guess the rest of the characters were just fodder. I didn't see Sasuke though…

Wait…

No fucking way…

I looked at the window to the left of me and saw Sasuke's reflection staring back at me.

"No fucking way…" I mutter at the realization sank in.

"What happened, Sasuke-kun?" A girl's voice – probably Sakura – called out to me.

SHIT! I really was Sasuke! And judging by how Naruto jumped onto the desk in front of me, I'd say this was right after the Academy final exams. The team assignment day. Anything else important I'm missing? It hit me as I saw Naruto lose his balance and come falling towards me. Oh right, how could I forget? I put my hands up just in time to hold his shoulders… but FUCK the guy was heavy. I mean it's not all that surprising seeing how much ramen he eats.

Naruto lips fell on mine since I couldn't move my head away in time. We both separated instantly and started gagging. No homo, but his lips were pretty soft, styll.

"Dude, what the fuck!?" I said more irritated than angry.

"Ew, I'm going to get Uchiha germs!" Naruto cried as he was chased by some girls.

That hit hard. I mean… I know I'm not really Sasuke, but I have gotten bullied like that in the past and it does hurt, y'know. Ah, whatever. I balled up those little memories and shoved them way deep into my heart.

The door slid open as the man, the myth, the legend, Iruka-sensei himself strode in. He cleared his throat and used his infamous 'Big-Head Jutsu'. "QUIET!" he roared as all the children… As all the child soldiers scrambled to get to their seats.

Frankly, I didn't pay attention to that long ass speech about being a shinobi and everything. It was whatever, y'know. Rather than that, I planned what I was going to do next. There's no way, right? I mean I probably ate something, and this is all just a hallucination… right? RIGHT!? Oh god, this shit is real. Okay, okay, calm down. If this isn't real, that means I'm in some kind of a dream or coma in real life. If that's what happened, then I've got nothing to worry about. I'll be taken to the hospital, and Canada has free healthcare so… YEET!

On the other hand, if this is real… well… let's start planning, I guess. This world was so different than Earth. Speaking of, I wonder what happened to my real body. If I'm dead in that world, then please, to whatever godlike entity that transported me here, please, please wipe my laptop's hard drive… And my phone… And my google drive… And my OneDrive- Basically just please wipe everything I own. Please and thank you.

Now, moving onto the next problem, what to do here? Yes, I hate Sasuke, but this is an amazing chance to change his (mine?) character. And I know some amazing secrets. Hell, I could even make Naruto completely loyal to me by telling him that I accept him and by telling him about his family. And Itachi…

I clenched my eyes as I felt a sharp headache as soon as I thought of him. Hah… I guess the original body's impulses stayed. Hopefully, I'll grow out of them. Itachi is an amazing guy, if not a bit stupid. I'll have to forgive him.

As that train of thought finished, Iruka was just moving onto the team assignments. "Team seven: Naruto Uzumaki," Naruto smiled as he looked forward eagerly. "Sakura Haruno."

Sakura's head thumped on the desk with a sad "Noooo."

Naruto jumped with glee with a happy "Yesss!"

"And Sasuke Uchiha," Iruka finished. Naruto and Sakura's reactions were reversed.

"Iruka-sensei!" Naruto exclaimed. "Why I someone as great as me have to be put with someone like him!?" he asked angrily with a finger pointed at me.

Before Iruka could say anything, I spoke. "Naruto," I called out.

"Huh?"

"I look forward to working with you," I said with a genuine smile on my face.

"HAH!?" Naruto exclaimed. "Is that a challenge!?"

… This guy's a fucking idiot.

The rest of the team assignments passed smoothly and finally, the time for waiting came. I knew that lowkey we were being watched by Kakashi. Kakashi, huh… To be honest, he's an amazing guy, but I've always disliked his teaching style and the way he neglects his students. Oh well, I guess that's just something I'll have to deal with. I'll just try to learn this shit early. That being said, I'll have to figure out this 'chakra' shit quickly.

"Yo," I called out to Naruto and Sakura who were the only ones in the room other than me. Both their heads turned towards me. Sakura's with stars in her eyes, and Naruto's with narrowed eyes. I kept an impassive expression on my face. "Listen up. We're a team now. Get that?" I asked.

"Yeah, so?" Naruto asked defiantly. Before Sakura could speak up and berate him, I quickly answered.

"So, that means that I'll be trusting you to watch my back on missions. We each need to know each others' strengths and weaknesses. Each of us needs to cover for each other. As a show of trust, I'll begin. I'm good at taijutsu, bukijutsu, and ninjutsu. Once I awaken my Sharingan, I'll get better at genjutsu also. I weakness is that I don't have enough stamina. That is something I have to improve. Next, Naruto."

Naruto and Sakura looked at me with wide eyes. "Uh… I…" Naruto began but wasn't sure what to say. I decided to help him out.

"Naruto. What are you good at?"

"Uh… pranks?"

"How are you going to use that in the shinobi world?"

"Uhm…" he thought hard as he scratched his head.

"Traps?" Sakura spoke up.

I pointed at her and she jumped. "Exactly. You can make complicated traps and be our traps specialist. What else are you good at?"

"I… have a lot of stamina. And even when I get tired, I can easily come back with only a little bit of rest," Naruto spoke proudly.

"Good. What else?" I asked.

"I think that's it," he said a bit sadly.

"That's not it," I said with a strong tone of voice. "Think. Why can't you make a proper Bunshin?"

"Because he doesn't have enough chakra," Sakura said.

"No. The exact opposite, in fact," I said with a smirk. The one thing I found cool about Sasuke was his face. "He has a fuckton of chakra. Almost as much, if not even more than the Hokage himself."

"R-Really?" Naruto asked hopefully.

"That's right. Now, this brings us to your weaknesses. The amount of chakra you have is inversely proportional to the amount to control you have over it, unless you have the experience," I explained.

Naruto looked at me with a most confused look ever and Sakura looked like she understood a little bit. I sighed and got up and walked over to the chalkboard. I picked up the chalk and started drawing a graph. "Now, here, on the x-axis, we have 'Amount of Chakra' and on the y-axis, we have 'Control Difficulty', understand?" I got nods from both of them. "Now, the more chakra you have," I said as I drew a line, "the more difficulty you have with controlling it. Got it?"

"So… I can't control it as well as Sakura-chan because I have too much chakra?" Naruto asked.

"Exactly."

"So…" Sakura began. "Does that mean I have less chakra?"

"Yep."

"Then what about you?" Naruto asked.

"I don't have as much as you, but I still have more than any chunin or mid-level jonin in our village… probably. Mainly because I come from a shinobi family," I explained. "So, Naruto. Your weaknesses are that you're a bit slow, your taijutsu absolute shit, and your chakra control is jacked which means that even ninjutsu is a bit tough for you unless you overload it with chakra in which case you would succumb to chakra exhaustion faster. Oh, and you can give up on even thinking about genjutsu… of course, unless you work non-stop on your control and make it as perfect as Sakura's." I decided to stop there as I saw smoke slowly rising from his head.

"Now, onto you Sakura. Strengths?" I asked.

"Uhm… I'm smart and I have good chakra control," Sakura said shyly as she squirmed under my gaze.

"Good. Weaknesses?"

"Well- "

"Everything else," I interrupted. She looked at me in shock. "I'm not going to mince my words, Sakura. At this point, the only thing you have going for you is your book smarts. Oh, and one more thing, if you want to become a functioning member of this team, you're going to have to stop dieting. Naruto and I can pull our own weights somehow but you… you have great potential but at this point… You're nothing but dead weight," I finished ruthlessly. A small smile showed on my face for just a second which went unnoticed by both of them. Naruto looked down with a contemplative face, no doubt thinking about his own shortcomings while Sakura almost had tears in her eyes.

"BUT!" I clapped my hands loudly which made both of them jump. "That just means we have to get better, right? We are a team. We help each other, we rely on each other, and we leave no one behind," I spoke with a strong tone and looked both of them in the eye with a cold hard piercing look.

"Right," Naruto said warily. "Hey, teme?"

My eye twitched. "What?"

"What happened to you?"

"Huh?"

"I mean…" Naruto looked at me suspiciously. "Why are you helping and being nice now? You weren't like this before."

"Life happened, Naruto," I said without missing a beat. Hopefully, this would be a good enough excuse.

"Life?" Sakura asked.

"We're shinobi now."

"Yeah, so?" Naruto said defiantly once more.

"Naruto," I said slowly, making my voice and body language much darker. "We're shinobi. Killers, liars, thieves, spies. In the real world out there, it's either kill or be killed." I finished and looked at them. Naruto had with eyes while Sakura was trembling in her seat. "Now, as I said, we are a team. Right?"

Sakura hesitated for a bit as she looked at Naruto and then at me. A few seconds of contemplation later, she also steeled her resolve and nodded. "Right."

"Good. Now, how about we prank our team leader for being late?" I said, looking at Naruto to which he immediately jumped and go to work.

**...**

Kakashi's head popped in and the eraser fell on his head. "I can't believe it," I muttered. Naruto or Sakura couldn't hear me but Kakashi used to be an ANBU captain. I'm sure his hearing was way above normal. "His hair really does stand up."

"My first impression of you three: I hate you. Meet me on the rooftop in five minutes," He said and disappeared.

Naruto and Sakura scrambled out the door as to not be late while I took my time walking. What's the worst that could happen? Ah shit, I jinxed it. I finally got up the stairs and opened up the door, to be met with three pairs of eyes. No, wait, two pairs and one lone eye.

"Glad you could finally make it," Kakashi said with a sarcastic smile.

"Yeah, my bad," I said with a dismissive wave and went to sit between Naruto and Sakura. "I had to help an old granny with her groceries." Kakashi's eye narrowed just a bit for a fraction of a second.

"I see… well, time for introductions. Names, likes, dislikes, plans for the future," Kakashi said cheerfully.

"Sensei, could you please start?" Sakura asked.

"Sure. My name is Kakashi Hatake. I have some likes and dislikes. I don't really have plans for the future," he finished with his trademark eye smile. "Now you," he pointed at Sakura.

"My name is Sakura Haruno. I like…" she looked at me. "My plans for the future…" she looked at me again and squealed.

"Dislikes?" asked Kakashi.

"Naruto!" she said, glaring at him.

"Okay, next," he pointed at me.

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha. My likes are…" computers, but I can't say that. What could I possibly say? Hmm… "Training, and sex," oh the looks on their faces was priceless. Even Kakashi's eye went wide open for a nanosecond. "I don't really have any dislikes. If I had to say, I guess people who are mean or rude for no reason?" Ah, there was the Canadian part of me. "Oh, and I hate being a burden on others. My plans for the future…" I smiled and slung my arms around each of my teammates. "Helping Naruto become Hokage, and helping Sakura become the strongest kunoichi in the world." I finished with a happy smile.

No doubt, this was extremely out of character for Sasuke. I loved the dumbstruck looks on all their faces.

"O… kay, next," Kakashi said and I let go of Naruto and Sakura.

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki. I like ramen! I dislike the two minutes it takes to cook the ramen. My plan is to become the greatest Hokage ever!"

"Ah that's nice," Kakashi said but then his expression turned serious. "But just one thing. You guys aren't a team yet." Oh yeah, the test. "You still have to pass the genin test."

How funny would it be if I were to mess all this shit up? LOL

"Oh yeah," I said with a thoughtful look on my face. "The second test where they decide if we'll actually be a genin or not, right? I heard that the academy test was just to see if you have the potential but this one is the real one and always has some meaning behind. Oh, and apparently the failure rate is like 66 percent or some shit."

Naruto and Sakura looked at me as if I had grown another head. Kakashi's look was totally undecipherable though. I guess he wasn't an ANBU captain for nothing.

"Yes, Sasuke, that's right. 6 o'clock tomorrow morning at training ground 7. Don't be late this time," he said with a slight touch of killing intent, which, to be honest, I only felt because it got easier to breathe a little bit. The air here was too light. The air on Earth was filled with subconscious killing intent. Even a five-year-old subconscious let out enough on the level of an experienced jonin. At least, that was my conjecture. "Oh," Kakashi added as an afterthought. "I suggest you don't eat breakfast. You'll puke." He vanished in a whirl of leaves, leaving us to our own devices. No doubt, he was still watching us.

"Sasuke-kun, do you want to go on a date?" Sakura asked as she turned towards me. Hmm… I've always liked Sakura's character. This might be a good way to get in her pants, but she was way too young at the moment. Maybe in a few years.

"Sakura," I said coldly. "I said one of my dislikes was being a burden on others, remember?" I asked her and made sure that Naruto was listening to us too. Sakura nodded confusedly. "I truly meant that. If I was ever a burden on anyone, I'd rather kill myself." Sakura and Naruto's eyes widened. "And the same applies the other way around. People who are a burden on others and don't do anything about it are the worst and should go die. You, Sakura, at the moment, are the weakest link in this team. I don't hate you, but if you continue to stay like this, I will. You know what you have to work on. Get better, get stronger, and I'll love you with all my heart." I stopped to let the words sink into both of them. "Do you both understand?" I asked and got nods from both of them.

"Do… you guys want to hang out… or something?" Naruto asked hopefully.

"Of course," I turned to him with a smile. "How about Ichiraku Ramen?"

"YES! Let's go!" he said with a cheer and started to walk.

I quickly interrupted. "Ah, sadly, I don't have enough money, so I guess today won't be possible."

"Don't worry! I'll pay for you this time!" Naruto said with a happy smile.

"Real shit? Alright, thanks a lot, man!" I said with enthusiasm. Yes! I don't have to pay this time.

As we walked, Naruto rambled about unimportant. We neared the famous ramen place as I quickly spoke up. "Okay listen up." Both Naruto and Sakura looked at me at once. "Don't ask how I know all this. Just keep listening and trust me, understood?" I got a pair of nods. "Our sensei's name is Kakashi Hatake. He used to be an ANBU captain. He's the son of 'Konoha's White Fang', Sakumo Hatake, and is one of, if not **the** most powerful ninja in the village, save for the Hokage himself. In fact, I believe he is next in line for the position in case of the Sandaime's early death."

"Wow… he's really that powerful?" Naruto asked with wide eyes.

"Yup," I said, making a popping sound with my lips.

"I guess that's good," Sakura said. "We are going to have an amazing sensei."

"Actually, this is very bad."

"What!? Why!?" Naruto said loudly as we got to the ramen stand. We all greeted the staff and sat down.

"Because every powerful ninja has a quirk and our sensei's quirk," damn that was weird to say, "is that he is… very, very lazy when he has to do anything that's not an emergency."

"What? How?" It was Sakura who asked this time.

"He's perpetually late to anything and everything. At least 3 hours." Two jaws hit the ground. "He doesn't teach anything unless we have flawless teamwork. The flaw in that is that it's practically impossible for new genin to have such teamwork. In short, we got the shittiest teacher ever."

Both my teammates looked down despondently.

"But," I said as they looked at me with considerably less enthusiasm. "That just means that we have to take care of ourselves. We're a team, remember?" I said with a small smile.

Naruto grinned wide and said, "Hell yeah! We'll be the strongest team in the world!"

Sakura looked nervous for a second before she also nodded seriously.

"That's what I like to hear," I said.

Huh… maybe the Narutoverse won't be too bad.

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**Idk how long this one will be. Hope you enjoyed it tho.**  
**Leave a review, please? That's what I live off of. **


	2. Trying My Best

**2**  
**Trying My Best**

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The door swung open with nary a sound as I stepped in. "I'm home," I called out. Oh wait, I forgot. I'm not really home. Or… I guess I am. Hah… this was confusing. And disappointing. This totally sucked.

Home… I guess that's what this apartment will be from now on. I took my sandals off using my toes. The motions came to me so naturally. If everything that Sasuke usually did was like second nature to me then what about knowledge and memories.

I ran through some hand seals, and my fingers moved as if they had a mind of their own. With that, I also felt a lurch of something in my abdomen. Probably my chakra. This was going to be difficult to figure out. And tomorrow I had to wake up early as shit for a test. Dammit. I sighed once more, shaking my head and banishing the negative thoughts from my head.

Quickly, I made and ate some light dinner – practiced motions helping me once more – and went to bed after a rigorous workout. It looked like the memories were coming to me piece by piece. As my eyes fell, my last thought was, "I want to go home."

**...**

I yawned widely as I walked onto the training ground 3 hours later than I was supposed to. "Sorry! I slept in a bit," I called out to my teammates as I saw them waiting in the distance.

"Teme!" Naruto shouted at me angrily. I'll have to get used to that, won't I? "You knew sensei was going to be late, didn't you!?"

"Eh?" Damn, he's smarter than he looks. "Well… I didn't **know** for sure that he was going to be late," I said, trying to play my word games. That was one of my specialties in my past life. Twisting words. Finding loopholes. Bending truths. Like a true politician.

Naruto raised an eyebrow at me and even Sakura looked a little miffed.

"I had a hunch-,"

"Exactly! Why didn't you tell us!?" Naruto said again, narrowing his eyes.

"Let me speak, you fucking idiot! I'd have told you if you hadn't interrupted me," I shouted back. They both looked surprised. Whether it was because of my swearing, or my shouting, I didn't know. I cleared my throat. "As I was saying before I was very rudely interrupted," I shot a mild glare at Naruto to which he merely pouted. '_No homo, but… KAWAIIIIII_' I internally screamed at his expression. "I had a hunch that he was going to be late, so I decided to show up late. I didn't tell you guys this because if I had, and you two had decided to show up late as well, then we all would've probably failed the test today. Better only one fail rather than all of us. Does that make sense?" Bullshit. Horseshit. Absolute fucking Kyuubi-shit. I made this up on the spot. How am I even so damn creative?

"Yeah, I guess…" Naruto said, scratching his cheek.

Wait, what? He bought it!? This guy was going to be the shittiest shinobi ever. He was going to be strong as fuck but as far as a 'shinobi' goes… Nope.

"That makes sense," Sakura also said.

Dammit. If Kakashi doesn't do his job properly, I'd have to teach them both some of this shit. I mean, c'mon! How does someone even become that naïve? This is… Ah, right… This isn't Earth. This isn't a place where everyone is only looking to exploit each other for their own gain. At least not at this age. That's why. Dammit.

I nodded to both of them and we waited for the guy to arrive. Man, this was boring. I needed something to do. '_Ah! Got it!_' I thought as I saw a wooden stump nearby.

"Sasuke-kun, what're you doing?" Sakura said as she saw me walk over.

"Just practicing," I replied, pulling a few shuriken out of my pouch.

Once again, the motions came as second nature to me as I threw them. Three thuds sounded for the three shuriken embedding themselves into the wood. I kept practicing as Naruto also joined me and Sakura watched me with starry eyes… Y'know, now I finally understand why Sasuke always felt so uncomfortable around this girl. The only person that was scarier than her was Yuno Gasai from _Future Diary_. Funny how both have pink hair though. Haha… Ha? Shit. God, why do you punish me as such?

Eventually, Kakashi poofed into the clearing where we were practicing. "Yo!" he said with that eye-smile people mention all the time. Damn, that shit's real, eh?

"Huh?" I spoke with as much genuine confusion as I could act out. I had specifically instructed Naruto and Sakura to have no outbursts about his lateness and to merely play along with my plan. "You're early, sensei." Naruto and Sakura stood there nodding.

Kakashi was quiet for barely a moment, just surveying us with his eye before speaking up. "Ah, am I? Oh well, might as well get started."

"Sure!" I chirped. His eye twitched! I saw it! ON MY LIFE IT WAS THERE, DATTEBAYO! Oh, wait, wrong character. BUT IT WAS THERE!

Kakashi reached into his pouch and pulled out an alarm clock that he set down on another tree stump. Then, he pulled out two bells which dangled in front of us. "You have one hour to get these from me," he explained.

"Buuuut?" I prompted.

He smiled. "The one who doesn't get it will be sent back to the academy. Oh, and make sure to come at me with the intent to kill," Naruto immediately started shouting and Sakura looked nervous.

"Shh," was all I said to make him quiet. Everyone immediately looked at me. I calmly replied. "Let's work together to get the bell first. We'll decide who gets them later. Cool?"

Naruto and Sakura looked at me weirdly once more. "I thought you'd say something like, 'don't get in my way,' or something."

"If this was the Academy, I probably would," I lied smoothly. "But as I explained yesterday, we're a team now. At least, for the next hour or so." Sakura immediately nodded in agreement while Naruto said a small 'okay' after thinking about it.

"The test starts now," Kakashi said suddenly and hit the clock which started ticking.

Immediately, Sakura disappeared into the foliage and Naruto got into a fighting stance. I facepalmed. Idiots. Both of them. "Naruto, stop! Sakura, get your ass back out here!" I shouted out. Everyone stilled for a second.

"Huh?" said Naruto as he turned to me.

"What?" came Sakura's voice as her head popped out of the bushes.

"First of all, our sensei is a **jonin**, not to mention an **ex-ANBU captain**. You really think you can hide from him?" I asked. In my peripheral, I saw Kakashi's eye narrowed just a bit and my teammates looked a bit thoughtful.

Sakura's mouth formed an 'o' as she nodded meekly and came out.

"And Naruto?" I said commandingly.

"What?"

"You really think you can take him on?"

"… I… guess not," he said reluctantly.

I nodded. "Now, first of all," I said as I turned to Kakashi. "Sensei, can we have the bells?"

"Good try, but no," Kakashi answered without missing a beat.

"Alright," I said as I thought about the situation. "Are you going to attack us?"

"I might. If I get bored."

"Got it. Naruto, Sakura, come with me," I said, as I led them into the woods.

"I thought we can't hide from him, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked.

"We can't. But what we can do is at least plan for something. I'm sure he can't hear us at this distance. At least, unless he sends a Kage Bunshin after us."

"I can make Kage Bunshin!" Naruto exclaimed excitedly.

"Wait, seriously!?" I asked acting amazed. "That's cool. You really do have a lot of chakra. Awesome!"

Naruto beamed as he was praised, and Sakura also looked at him with raised eyebrows. Her opinion of him wasn't the best at the moment but I decided to actively work on changing that. Alright, now let's plan on how we're going to do this…

"Naruto, can you send a clone or two to keep sensei busy? Don't fight him seriously. Just keep him a bit distracted," I asked. Naruto nodded and sent five clones out. All of a sudden, he stopped and glared lightly at me.

"Hey! Who said you're the leader?" Naruto asked heatedly.

"Naruto-baka-," Sakura started but I quickly interrupted her.

"Sakura!" I said in a strong voice which immediately shut her up. I placed my hand on her back and rubbed it. She instantly calmed down. "Naruto does have a point, y'know. No one named me the leader. In fact, would you like to be the leader, Naruto?" I asked with a smile.

"Huh?" Naruto said, probably surprised that I wasn't arguing back.

"If you or Sakura want to be the leader, I don't really mind. But remember, the leader takes all responsibility. If we fail, it's on you. If we die, it's on you. Can you handle that?" I asked with a serious voice. Even thought my hand was still on Sakura, she was paying attention to my words.

"W-Well…" Naruto started as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Actually, you know what," I said with a thoughtful look on my face. "You want to be Hokage, right?" Naruto nodded vigorously. "Then this will be good leadership training for you. You will be our squad leader. At least for now."

"R-Really?" Naruto asked suspiciously. It was then that I remembered. He didn't exactly have the best life. It was probably alien to him to have someone trust him like this. You can control someone best, when you give them something to lose. Especially, if that something is unique.

"Naruto," I said seriously. He looked at me intently. I gripped Sakura's shoulder. "We will trust you."

Naruto eyes widened as he looked at me. His eyes moved to look at Sakura. She looked reluctantly for a bit before she also nodded with a small smile. Damn… that was cute. I've always believed that Naruto and Sakura should be together but that was because Sasuke was a fucking asshole who didn't give a shit about her till the very end. Now, though… I mean… Shit, man. Why this all gotta be so complicated? I guess I'll just go for someone else.

"Got it!" Naruto exclaimed loudly as he nodded with determination to not disappoint us. "I'll do my best."

**...**

**(A/N: I suck at fight scenes so imagine this shit yourselves.)**

**...**

The three of us lay panting on the ground we had finally gotten the bells… no… we had been allowed to get the bells. "Good job," Kakashi said flatly. "You got the bells. Now, who stays and who goes?"

"Naruto and Sakura stay. I go," I said immediately as I threw the bell I had to Naruto – Sakura had the other one – and started to walk away.

"Wait, what!?" Naruto shouted as he jumped to his feet.

"It was a pleasure working with you guys," I answered without looking back and kept walking.

"Teme, wait! What the hell happened to 'we're a team'!?" Naruto shouted as he ran after me.

I came to a stop and turned around, only to come face to face with the blond.

"I don't deny that. We were a team. Keyword, **were**."

"So what? You don't care about us anymore?" Naruto asked heatedly.

"Of course, I care! I'm doing this because I care!" I said heatedly. Damn, this guy is seriously going to have to learn how to think logically.

"That doesn't even make sense!" Naruto replied back with just as much anger.

I took a deep breath to calm down. "Listen, Naruto," I said. "I know you didn't pass your exam and you're only a genin now because of special circumstances. I'm not going to ask how because that's probably personal to you. Not to mention you failed three times. Do you really think you can go through another year?"

Naruto's face went from anger to sadness. He was actually worried about me! AWW!

"And Sakura? You come from a civilian family, don't you? What do you think your parents will say when they find out you were sent back to the Academy?" I asked her.

"But… Sasuke-kun, what about you?" she asked worriedly. _Sniff sniff, I really do have such kindhearted teammates_.

"I literally passed at the top of our class. What makes you think I can't do it again?" I asked as I flashed a winning smirk. My hand fell on Naruto's shoulder. "Listen bro," I said as I squeezed. "I believe in you. I trusted you, now just trust me, okay?" Naruto stared for a moment before he looked away.

YES! He was starting to cave.

He looked conflicted for a second before turning to Kakashi with a glare. He threw the bell down. "Fuck you and fuck your test! If we all don't pass, then neither of us pass!"

SHIT! I was wrong.

"Yeah!" Sakura reciprocated. "We're all with Sasuke-kun!"

I sighed and facepalmed as I saw Kakashi looking at us amusedly. "I am surrounded by **IDIOTS**!"

"Hmm," Kakashi hummed as he eyed us for a second. "You pass." Alright, now I have to act.

"What?"

"Huh?"

"Eh?"

"I said, 'you pass'. As in, you all pass the test. The real test was never about the bells. It was the teamwork. Follow me."

We followed in silence. As I suspected, he led us to the dead people name thing monument. Forgot what it's called, but I'm sure Kakashi will tell us in a bit.

Kakashi stopped in front of it and spoke in a low voice. "This is Konoha's Memorial Stone."

"What does that mean?" Naruto asked curiously.

"It means that this is the stone on which all the names of Konoha's heroes are carved," Kakashi explained solemnly.

"Cool! I'll become super strong and make sure my name is also on it!" Naruto exclaimed.

"That's a nice goal to have. Just one thing…" Kakashi said. "They're all dead."

Naruto stilled. Even Sakura's smile dropped; it was instantly replaced with a serious look.

"Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke… I want you all to remember one thing now that you're on my team," Kakashi spoke as he turned around to look at us. "In the shinobi world, those who break the rules are absolute scum. But… those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum." Silence descended upon us like a heavy blanket. I looked on with emotionless eyes.

A few seconds passed and I finally decided to do something. I walked up to the stone and rubbed my thumb over one name. '**Yondaime Hokage Minato Namikaze**'. I knew Kakashi was watching me closely. "I'll make sure my name is on here," I said with a small smile.

I heard a gasp with a small "Hm?" behind me.

"I don't mind dying for the village," I answered the unasked questions. Before I left, I let my finger brush another name. Almost imperceptible, but I know for sure Kakashi spotted it. '**Kushina Uzumaki**'. Naruto and Sakura stared at me with wide eyes. I replied with a smile.

"We'll meet in training ground 7 at 8 am tomorrow. Naruto, Sakura, dismissed. Sasuke, you stay," Kakashi ordered coolly.

"Hai," the two said and walked away in silence. Interesting. I was actually expecting Naruto to say something. Oh well. I wonder how just this much has affected canon.

"Sasuke?"

Oh, right. Kakashi wanted to talk to me. "Hmm?"

"Is something wrong?" Kakashi asked.

"What?" I questioned back. "There's a ton of things wrong. What are you referring to exactly?" Man, I love playing with words. This is my kind of battle.

"The way you've been acting."

"What about it?"

"It's not exactly normal."

"That depends on your definition of 'normal'."

Kakashi stood up straighter and looked me in the eye. A sign that he was getting serious. "Your attitude is the exact opposite of what I read in your file."

"Who wrote my file?"

"… The Academy sensei."

"Exactly. You trust them?"

"Is there a reason why I shouldn't."

I stared at him. This guy… Was he serious? Let's see how sarcasm work. I mock gasped. "Oh no! There no reason at all why you shouldn't trust them. Of course, you can trust the people who showed blatant favoritism. That same people who put clan heirs together and set civilians in teams to fail. The same people who saw Naruto was struggling but didn't help. The same people who saw I was making mistakes but still praised me. OF COURSE," I spoke loudly. "THERE'S NO REASON AT ALL TO NOT TRUST PEOPLE WHO HATE A KID FOR SOMETHING THAT'S NOT HIS FAULT."

"Watch your tone," Kakashi said silently and blasted me with his killing intent. The pressure in the air increased, but that just made it easier for me breath.

"Save it, Kakashi. Killing intent doesn't work on me," I said nonchalantly. His eye widened for a second before the pressure vanished. I was kinda hoping he'd keep it tho. It was easier to breath with it on. Oh well, whatever.

"Why did you rub the Yondaime's name?"

"Finally, you get to the point. I did it because Naruto looks similar to him, and he's one of the greatest heroes of Konoha."

"And what about the other one?"

"What other one?"

"…" he glared at me. Jheez, I've really made him mad, eh? "Kushina Uzumaki," Kakashi ground out.

"Oh, that's cuz she has the same last name as Naruto, and I was wondering if it's his family. Maybe his mom or something. I'll tell him later though," I said nonchalantly.

"No, you won't," Kakashi replied instantly.

"And why won't I?" I asked challengingly.

"Because that's an order from your jonin sensei," he said with a hard look.

Well… I couldn't do anything here. I might like finding loopholes in the law, but I won't outright break one.

"Fine…" I said with a smirk. He said I couldn't tell Naruto, but not anyone else.

"You will not tell anyone else either." Wha… this man can read minds, can't he? Fine… I'll find another loophole.

The smirk stayed on my face. "Fine…"

We stood there for a full minute looking at each other. Finally, he nodded and disappeared. Well… that was interesting. Let's see… what will be my plan for the future. I walked back and sat down at the Memorial Stone, leaning against it.

I tilted my head up, looking at the sky. I had no doubt Kakashi was watching me. I'll have to develop a sense of paranoia now that I'm in this world. This world… full of lying, killing, cheating, backstabbing, and just death in general. I'm definitely going to have fun here. Let's see now… Next big event is the Wave Arc. I don't want to go there. Mainly because I'm scared shitless. I'm not the real Sasuke and I won't overestimate myself by saying I am. I'll have to change that somehow. I'll try to get Naruto to teach me the Kage Bunshin. What else… I guess I'll spread the rumor saying that I forgive Itachi. OH SHIT! I forgot about Orochimaru. A shiver ran through my spine as his face came to my mind. I **DO NOT** want to get bit by him this time. I am genuinely scared of the guy. Anyone who can cheat death multiple times is someone to be wary of.

Hah… too much to do. A whole war to prevent… or enjoy, depending on which way I look at it.

* * *

**Liked it? Disliked it? Review ples.**


	3. The Truth Stings

**3  
The Truth Stings**

* * *

I'll never understand why these guys hate D-rank missions. They're basically just easy money. Painting, babysitting, weeding, escorting rich kids to school, helping people move, exterminating vermin… all these were chores, yes, but honestly, just apply your brain a little bit and it'll be easy.

Painting? Use a roller.  
Babysitting? Use a weak poison and put the kids to sleep.  
Weeding gardens? Overload the plants with chakra so they burn.  
Escorting smartasses to school? Humiliate them so badly that they stay quiet.  
Helping people move? Use a dolly! I can't believe I had to 'invent' something like this. SMH!  
Exterminating vermin? Spread your chakra out to sense them and take them out using shuriken.

Tedious stuff, easy money. Not to mention the fact that you get to chill with your team. Naruto, Sakura and I grew really close, really fast. Not Kakashi though. He always seems to be keeping a close eye on me. I have no doubt I made him super suspicious with how I was acting. Hell, I even crossed paths with Ibiki Morino once; his face was easy to recognize. Normally I'd believe it to be just a coincidence, but with where I'm living and what my career is, I highly doubt coincidences will ever happen. Funny thing is that this career will be perfect for me. I was always paranoid AF when on Earth. Like I deadass used to sleep with a boxcutter a few feet away from me. In this world, that kinda shit is basically a requirement.

But disregarding all the adults and everyone, things seemed to be going fine. After missions, Naruto, Sakura, and I always trained together. Sometimes physical training – which Naruto loved, and Sakura hated. Sometimes chakra control – which Sakura loved, and Naruto hated. Sometimes shinobi skills – which they both hated. I honestly loved them all. I've always loved working out, so I didn't mind physical training at all. I understood the need for chakra control, so that didn't bore me too much either. And as for shinobi skills? Well… I've always had a feeling that I was a sociopath.

The only area of concern was Naruto and Sakura's relationship. It was barely better than before. Sakura was still too quick to berate him, and he was still too insistent on annoying her – albeit unknowingly. Every time they bickered, I'd have to step in to separate them and it was quickly getting on my nerves.

Eventually, I snapped.

**Flashback**

"Sakura-chan~" called out Naruto's voice.

"No!" came the strong reply.

"But you didn't even let me finish," he whined.

"I already know what you're going to say, and the answer is no!"

"But-,"

"NO, Naruto!"

"Oh, come on! Just once!"

"No!"

"Both of you shut your motherfucking cock suckers or I'm gonna shove my foot so far up your asses, you're gonna be picking my toenails out of your teeth!"

My scream rang through the forest before a heavy silence descended upon us, only broken by my heavy laboured breathing. Naruto was on all fours, eyes wide and was trembling while Sakura had fallen back on her butt, eyes just as wide as Naruto's. She wheezed as if having trouble breathing. Kakashi had also fallen out of the tree and he was also on one knee with a kunai in his hand and his sharingan eye open.

I watched them all for a second confusedly before I realized what I had done. I had unintentionally let out a massive amount of my killing intent. _Jheez_, I thought to myself, _I didn't even really mean what I said. Only got a little bit mad and they all already fell to their knees? They wouldn't survive a day on Earth._

I quickly regained control over my emotions and scratched my cheek guiltily. "Ah… well… my bad. Sorry about that. I was just a bit annoyed. Didn't mean to do that."

"Sasuke… your eyes…" Naruto said as he pointed at my face.

Huh? My eyes? Did my sharingan awaken?

"Sasuke-kun, your sharingan!" Sakura called out right after Naruto, confirming my suspicions.

"Sasuke," came a voice from behind me. My eyes widened. Kakashi had crossed the distance so quickly and quietly, I didn't even notice. I've seriously got to get better at sensing people and shit.

"Hai, sensei?" I asked as I turned around. Once more, Kakashi was watching me intently with his lone eye. His sharingan had been covered up.

"Explain your actions." The order was short and concise.

"Well," I began. You think you can act tough with me, buddy? You could be the Hokage for all I care. I began my wordplay. "You see, I was talking to my dearest teammates, listening to them saying something about my eyes and sharingan. That's when an authoritative voice spoke my name – which is the same as Sandaime-sama's father's name, by the way, did you guys know that? I don't know why my mom named-,"

"Sasuke!" Kakashi interrupted, openly glaring at me.

"Yes, dearest sensei? How may I help you?"

"I'm in no mood for your wordplay. Explain how you unleashed that much killing intent. **Now**." Knowingly, or unknowingly – I'll never know – Kakashi's KI was also leaking, making my teammates slightly uncomfortable. Well, at least he got straight to the point. If only he had done that from the start.

"Sensei. Your own killing intent is leaking. I don't mind, but you're making my teammates uncomfortable. Can you please reign it in?" I spoke just as to-the-point as I'd like others to be. I ain't no hypocrite.

Kakashi narrowed his eye before returning to normal. "Explain how you unleashed that much killing intent," he repeated.

"I don't know. I was irritated." I SWEAR TO GOD I SAW HIS EYE TWITCH AGAIN! I SWEAR!

"That's… All?" Kakashi ground out with a strained smile. I'm pretty sure he wants to throttle me.

"Yep," I replied with as innocent of a grin as I could muster.

Silence fell over the training ground as the tension was thick as molasses. You could almost cut it with a knife.

"We'll be talking to the Hokage first thing tomorrow morning. Eight am sharp; be at the Hokage tower entrance. You're all dismissed." And he disappeared using shunshin.

I looked at Naruto and Sakura with a raised eyebrow as I pointed with my thumb at the spot Kakashi was occupying. "That means twelve in the afternoon, right?" I asked jokingly.

Kakashi appeared again in his spot and whacked me over the head. I lost my balance and faceplanted. "No, that means eight am sharp." And he disappeared. Again.

I pulled myself up and dusted off the grass and dirt. "Bitchass, grey-hair-having-ass, jonin-rank-ass, elite-shinobi-ass, eye-smiling-ass, leg-having-ass, acting-cool-ass, mask-wearing-ass, jutsu-stealing-ass, XY chromosome-having-ass lil shit," I muttered, scowling at the smudge of dirt that won't go away.

I looked up and realized Naruto and Sakura were looking at me apprehensively. "You okay, Sasuke?" Naruto asked, actually looking worried.

"Aww," I said, wiping fake tears. "You're actually about me? Thanks so much, Naruto!" I said and hugged him tightly.

"OI! TEME! LET GO! I DON'T SWING THAT WAY!" he said, pushing me off. Alright! Time to begin acting!

"Well, I don't either!" I scowled. "I just wanted a warm hug… but I see how it is." My expressions changed to pleading as I looked at Sakura. "You won't be like him, will you, Sakura?" I asked as I held out my arms.

Sakura practically turned into the Yondaime Hokage as she squealed and jumped into my arms faster than I could even see. "Don't worry, Sasuke-kun," I could almost hear the grin in her voice. "I'll never let you go!" That… could be a problem. Either way, I had to continue my act.

"Thank you, Sakura," I said, wrapping my arms around her. One hand rubbing her back and the other raking through her hair. "Sakura gives better hugs than you, Naruto!" I said as I stuck out my tongue at him.

He seethed. "TEME!" he growled out. And now for the finale.

I opened one arm and held it out to him. "Wanna join?" I asked, suggesting a group hug.

Anger turned into confusion as he cocked his head to the side. "Huh?"

"Join in. You don't mind do you, Sakura?" I asked the girl who was still holding onto me like a life saver.

Sakura pulled away a little bit as she looked at me, then at Naruto, then back at me. I stared into her eyes, silently pleading to bond. Finally, she looked back at Naruto with a smile. "Join in, Naruto!" she said as she also opened on arm to him.

"W-What?" he stammered.

Ah, right… he wasn't used to actions of affection. This was truly sad. I walked towards him with Sakura still with me and pulled him with us. "We're a team. We're family," I said, hoping to engrave this sentence in their hearts. "We might bicker, and fight… but the love will never go away."

**Flashback End**

That day, the three of us had drifted a little bit closer to each other.

**...**

You're an elite shinobi. You're definitely an elite shinobi… SO WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THE HE'S LYING, SENSEI!?

"Um… guys? Sensei? Hokage-sama?" I asked with trepidation. "You guys really think he's telling the truth?"

"Why wouldn't I be telling the truth, ya brat?" he slurred. Tazuna was just as fat and smelly as the anime and the manga mentioned.

I facepalmed. Yes, I'm a nineteen-year-old in Sasuke's body but goddamn, even I can see that this guy's body language practically screams 'LIAR!'

"Ok, fuck it. Whatever. If we get killed on this mission, it's on you! Don't ever forget that," I said to Kakashi in exasperation.

I don't know how hard that might've hit him but all Kakashi did was give us one of his famous 'eye-smile' and say, "I would never let my cute little genin die, Sasuke."

I raised my eyebrow as I looked at the Hokage. The old guy stared right back at me with an undecipherable look and we stayed like that. "Kakashi," he said after a while.

"Hai, Hokage-sama?"

"I'm assigning Team Guy to go with you too," the old man commanded.

"But-,"

"That's an order, Kakashi."

"… understood."

"Good," Hiruzen said with a smile directed right at me. "Both teams will depart at nine tomorrow morning. Make sure to be at the gate half an hour before. Dismissed."

As we exited the tower, a hand with a vice-like grip fell on my shoulder. "Sasuke." Kakashi's voice was low. Almost threatening.

I looked back at him. My head was tilted up, eyes half-lidded, and the corners of my mouth pulled downwards ever so slightly. "Hmm?" No respect. He didn't deserve it yet. Not as a teacher, at least.

"Don't ever try to undermine my authority ever again," he said, letting go of my shoulder. Naruto and Sakura were deathly quiet, staring at us as if we were a primed explosive note about to blow up.

I scoffed. "Authority? **What** authority, sensei?" I asked, looking deep into Kakashi's lone eye. On my life though, he really needs to shape up. "The authority you showed when you took us to the Memorial Stone and said one sentence, expecting three fresh genin to work as a team? Or maybe the authority you showed when we were doing all those D-ranks? Oh wait, maybe you're talking about the authority you show all the time when you pull out those lewd books? Is **that** the authority you're talking about, sensei? Cuz, I mean, other than that, I really cannot remember any instance at all where you actually acted like a team leader… or a sensei, for that matter. So, forgive me, _SENSEI_," I basically spat out the word like a glob of venom, "for feeling like your authority isn't worth jack shit."

"S-Sasuke-kun. Y-You can't disrespect our sensei like that," Sakura said. Good. She's finally starting to think for herself.

"Oh, I respect this guy a lot actually, Sakura," I said without taking my eyes off of Kakashi. "I honestly respect Kakashi Hatake, the copy ninja, the man who has copied over a thousand jutsu. Student of the Yondaime Hokage and one of the best ANBU captains in history. Hell, I even consider him a prime example of what a shinobi should be like… **BUT**… Kakashi-sensei, the sensei of Team 7, isn't worth jack shit in my eyes. Never once has he taught us any real shinobi skills. Never once has he done anything other than provide minor feedback when we were training. Not fucking once.

"What I see in front of me isn't an elite shinobi who is trying his best to make the next generation prosper. No. What is see, is a broken shell of a man who is too cooped up in self-pity and can't tell the fucking difference between his old **dead** team and his new students. What is see is a pathetic fucking excuse of a sensei who doesn't want his students to succeed in the world but instead wants to preserve this fake sense of security. What I see… is someone who isn't worthy of any of the respect that comes his way and instead should go see a therapist and learn how to process simple fucking emotions-,"

My brain only processed what happened after my back hit the wall and the air was knocked out me. Blood ran down the side of my face and my cheekbones felt like they were on fire. I realized that Kakashi had kicked me in the side of the face which had sent me flying all the way to a wall. Naruto and Sakura weren't the only ones staring at us, gaping like fishes. All the surrounding shinobi and civilians had also stopped and started watching us sometime during my rant. "Mind your tone, Sasuke," Kakashi said, openly leaking his killing intent and directing it solely towards me.

"Heh," I chuckled. "That's all you got, Kakashi? C'mon. Itachi can hit harder than that, for fuck's sake. But tell me, does it feel good?" I waited for an answer and when none came, I continued. "Does it feel good, hitting a genin, knowing that he can't fight back against a former ANBU captain? Was your ego hurt, Kakashi?"

Kakashi narrowed his eyes even more as he slowly walked towards me ominously. I smirked. I might very well get killed right now. But if this is how I go, then I guess it's good that at least Naruto and Sakura will get more attention form Kakashi.

"STOP!" came a shout. It seemed that while I was thinking about the consequences of my death, Naruto had moved to stand protectively over me, pulling Sakura along too. "STOP IT! A team doesn't fight! A team is never divided!" he shouted desperately, trying to find the right words. I saw Kakashi's mask move, but before he could say anything, I spoke up.

"You're right! A team doesn't fight amongst themselves. But that's the point. Kakashi is not a true part of our team. He didn't slave away with us when we were doing missions. He didn't ask us how we were doing when he greeted us in the morning. He didn't sweat, bleed, or cry with us. All he is is a glorified babysitter," I said and sighed. "Whatever, man. I'm done. I'm too tired to keep arguing. Fuck this shit. I just hope we don't die on our next mission." I tried standing up but winced. Looks like my ankle probably twisted. Hell, my whole body hurt.

All of a sudden, I felt a strong hand grip my arm. I looked up to find Naruto staring right at me. "I'll help," he said, smiling. I felt myself smile at his words.

"Me too," I heard from my other side, as Sakura put my arm around her neck and Naruto did the same.

My smile widened at the kind gesture from both my teammates. "Thanks, guys. You're the best."

Naruto chuckled. "Of course, we are", he said as Sakura also giggled.

"Next stop, Konoha General Hospital," she said cheerfully.

"Ah, wait, just drop me off at home. I'll be fine," I said, trying to wave them off.

"No," came the reply from both sides as I hung my head in defeat. No point in trying to fight it.

Behind us, I could practically feel Kakashi looking at us with a melancholic look. A little bit into the walk, Sakura spoke again. "Sasuke-kun," she said, looking at me cutely. Oh god, I seriously want to just kiss that face. But no… maybe when we're older. "Why do you hate Kakashi-sensei so much?"

"I don't hate him, Sakura."

"Could've fooled me," Naruto said form my other side.

"I really don't hate him. But he has to realize that we're not just going to become shinobi by doing D-ranks and practicing on our own. We're not geniuses. We need someone to teach us. And if he's not up to the job, then he needs to pass it onto someone else. If things go on like this, we'll be dead before we even reach chunin. Or at least I will. That's for sure. The endpoint is that he needs to shape up." Silence blanketed the three of us as we kept walking – or hobbling in my case – towards the hospital. The reality sinking in deeper.

* * *

**No, I'm not bashing Kakashi. I've gotta make him get serious somehow. This is the best way I found.  
Please leave a review. That's all I ask.**


	4. C-Rank --- SIKE NIBBA YOU THOUGHT

**4  
****C-Rank… SIKE N*BBA YOU THOUGHT**

* * *

The two teams and one client walked in relative silence. I say relative because Naruto couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut for two minutes. I massaged my temples and sighed.

"Naruto…" I said exasperatedly.

"Yeah?" he asked immediately, shutting his mouth about whatever useless topic he was rambling on about and looking at me.

"Can you please shut the hell up?" I asked amicably.

"HAH!?" he responded right away. "You wanna go, teme?"

Oh, this idiot. I swear I'm gonna actually throttle him. "No, ya idiot," I said. "I just want some silence so that I can think about some things," I pleaded.

"What things?" Naruto asked, scrunching his brow.

Uh… What do I say? What can I possibly say to make him quiet?

"Things like why Itachi killed my whole clan."

All the shinobi's eyes shot towards me for a second. As I expected, this was quite a heavy topic and even Naruto knew not to make light of it.

"O-Oh," he said, looking downtrodden.

"Yeah…" I said expressionlessly. "Don't worry about it too much, though. I'm mostly over it. I just don't understand my brother's reasons." I looked over at Naruto and smiled. "How about you help me think, hm? I know for a fact that you usually think outside the box."

"Uh…" Naruto gaped before his brain finally caught up to what I was saying. "Y-yeah! Sure! I'll help!"

"Awesome!" I said far more cheerfully than I should've. Heh, it was so much fun creeping them out. "Now, I'm assuming you don't know what happened, right?"

"Uh-huh," Naruto agreed.

"Alright, so basically, I was going home from the academy, right?" As I began, Kakashi, Sakura, and the entirety of Team Gai also listened in attentively. "And I entered the Uchiha clan district at night and like, all the lights and everything was off, so I was like 'oh everyone is asleep', but then I realized it was too early for that which made me confused." As I talked more, the memories came back to me. "Ah, shit," I cursed clutching my head as a sharp headache hit me.

"Sasuke/Sasuke-kun!" Naruto and Sakura's voice called out at the same time as they rushed to me.

"I'm fine. Just a light headache," I said, waving their concerns away. "Anyway, as I was saying, I kept running through the clan district and when I turned a street, all I saw were bodies lying left, right, and center. I checked each and every one of them while running to my house. Everyone was dead," I paused after that, a heavy atmosphere settling on the group. "I made it to my house and opened my parents' bedroom door and… all I saw was Itachi standing over my parents' dead bodies. I, like the dumbass I was, tried to rush him and push him away. He kicked me away all the way to the wall and strangled me while he looked into my eyes with his sharingan."

"Oh, you mean that special eye like you have?" Naruto asked curiously.

"Yep," I answered. "Except, his was even more special," I said, making Kakashi also look at me with a raised eyebrow.

"How?" Naruto continued his questions.

"Well…" I trailed off, thinking how best to explain it. I guess it'd be best to just explain it to him as clearly as possible, right? I mean, I know that I'm supposed to keep this a secret so that I can have an advantage in fights but these are my comrades… so no point, right? "Do you know how the sharingan works?" I asked him to which he quickly shook his head. "How about you, Sakura?" I asked.

"Not really, Sasuke-kun," she said, also intrigued.

"Okay, so basically, these eyes," I said, activating them on reflex, "are also known as the eyes that reflect the heart. Every time I experience an intense emotion, I will... I guess you could say 'unlock' one more stage. You with me so far?"

"Uh-huh," Sakura replied chipperly.

While Naruto scratched his head. "So… like you have to be really, really, sad?" he asked.

"Yep. Or happy, or angry, or literally any emotions as long as it's so strong that it'll affect my brain in a drastic way."

"Oh," he said, nodding.

"Yep. So, first there's one tomoe, then two, then three in each eye. There are two types of abilities. One of the eyes is the 'Perceptive Eye' and the other is the 'Hypnotic Eye'. The Perceptive Eye can see chakra, copy movement, give photographic memory and the Hypnotic Eye is mainly used for genjutsu but also sometimes it can…" I paused for dramatic effect. "Predict the future," I said, waving my hands dramatically.

"HUH!?" Naruto, Sakura, and Tenten shouted in disbelief.

"That is an unfair advantage!" Lee also shouted from somewhere.

I chuckled at their reaction. "Okay, well not exactly, but I've still gotta figure that part out," I said, not wanting to give too much away. "Anyway, the sharingan that my brother had was a different kind. It was a level above the fully mature sharingan."

"Which one is that?" Naruto asked, voice filled with awe.

"It's called... the mangekyou sharingan," I said. Now I had the full attention of everyone in the group. "My brother told me that…" I started but once more a piercing headache slammed into me like a tank using a nitro boost. "AHHH!" I screamed as I fell to my knees, clutching my head. My head throbbed. The pain felt like someone had plunged a knife into my skull. All I knew was pain at that moment.

Distantly, I could make out Naruto and Sakura calling out my name. My eyes were clenched shut, tight enough for me to start seeing stars and outer space… Wait, no. That wasn't space! That was black spots! I was going unconscious! Shit! I felt pathetic! How the fuck was I gonna let myself be controlled by someone else!? I pulled my lips back into a snarl and opened my eyes. The pain all but ignored through sheer willpower. I could feel the power of the sharingan coursing through my veins as it activated. My fist clenched, hard as a rock and slammed into the ground. The other followed suit. My eyes were practically drilling holes into the ground with how hard I was staring in concentration. "Hoo," I exhaled and stood up shakily. I looked around to gain some sense of balance and saw that my teammates were surrounding me, ready to catch me if I fell. Even Kakashi was behind me, ready to administer whatever first aid he could with his sloppily copied iryojutsu.

"I feel like I just got hit by a tank with nitro boost," I said, trying to relieve some tension with humor. Sadly, my dumbass forgot that tanks and nitro boost didn't exist in this world.

"Huh? Like… a tank of water?" Naruto asked confusedly from beside me.

"Uh…" I said, still trying to shake off the phantom pains from my head. "Yeah. Yeah, that."

"What's a nitro boost?" Sakura asked from the other side of me.

"Just something I once dreamed off," I said, waving away her concerns.

"Do you need medical assistance?" Kakashi asked from behind me.

"Nah, I'm blessed. Thanks though," I answered. I was sure I'd be okay. "Continuing where I left off," I continued, "my brother told me that I'd have to hate him a lot for me to get those eyes and be as strong as him and that accumulating hate was the only way to-," and then I blacked out. Last thing I remembered was falling back and Kakashi catching me gently.

Huh… Even though I was an asshole to him, he still acted professionally. This guy's a really great shinobi.

**...**

"Oh, god…" I said as my eyes slowly fluttered open. From the bouncing sensation I felt, I knew I was being carried by someone. My eyes opened a bit more and silver hair came into view. "Oh, wassup Kakashi? How's life?" I asked.

"Not too bad right now, to be honest," Kakashi answered, playing along. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel fine for now," I said, leaning my head on his shoulder. "But right before I passed out, it felt like someone shot an arrow through my head. You can put me down though. I can walk."

"Hmm," he hummed and came to a stop, halting the rest of the party too. Kakashi lowered himself and I stepped off on wobbly legs.

"Thanks," I said.

"No problem. Do you think you can continue or should we cancel the mission?" Kakashi asked, genuine concern in his voice.

"Nah, I'll power through it," was my reply.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura called out and ran towards me with Naruto right behind her.

"Hey, teme, you okay?" Naruto asked.

Man, I've gotta make him stop calling me that.

"Yeah, I'm good, more or less. Anything cool happen while I was out?" I questioned.

Naruto and Sakura glanced at each other before Naruto spoke up. "Well… we got attacked by two ninjas."

I smirked and looked back at Kakashi. He stared back at me for a second before sighing. "I don't know how you knew," he said with a sharp look, "but you were correct. The client was lying about the mission rank. It has officially been upgraded to a B-rank and we have been given permission to continue."

I sighed. Of course, we had. Why did I even hope that we'd get called back? "Oh, well," I said with a shrug. "Nothing we can do now but follow orders, right?" I turned back to my teammates.

The confused look on their faces made me want to laugh my guts out. Why the fuck were these two so cute, dammit!? Naruto nodded slowly and Sakura replied, "yeah…"

"Anyway, we'll make camp here tonight," Kakashi said to the rest of the group that had halted.

As the tents were being set up and the fire was lit, Kakashi called on our team. He pointed at Naruto and me. "You two, go into the woods and try to find some food for the rest of us." Then he pointed at Sakura. "Sakura, you go start setting traps with Tenten around the perimeter."

"Hai, sensei!" Naruto and Sakura both chorused enthusiastically, whereas I replied with a more laid-back, "Aye, gotchu."

I started to walk off with my new best friend before stopping suddenly. "Yo, bossman," I called out and Kakashi looked at me with a confused face. "We got attacked by enemy ninja earlier, right?"

Kakashi nodded slowly. "Yes, we did."

"Right," I said. "So what if we get attacked again in the woods? By someone stronger this time?"

Kakashi eye-smiled. "I trust you to be able to protect yourself. And besides, Tazuna said those two were the only ones who were after him."

"..." I stared. Genius ninja MY ASS! Is this guy a fucking idiot!? Or does he just not give a damn about us? I tried to stay as calm as possible. "Okaaaaay. But he lied once, so what makes you think he won't lie again?"

Kakashi opened his mouth, then closed it, trying to think of an answer. "You know what," I said, waving his off. "Never mind. Forget I asked." No point in dragging this out. "Naruto," I turned to him. "Can you please send out like twenty to thirty shadow clones to scout and stand as sentries around us?" I asked.

"Uh…" he said, glancing at Kakashi who was now looking at me with bored eyes. "Sure."

"Great. That way if one pops because of an enemy attack, you will know and can then tell us," I explained."

"Huh?" he asked. "How would I know?"

I turned to him. Did this idiot really just… OH WAIT! He didn't know about this ability yet! I turned back to Kakashi with the most 'bro what the actual shit is wrong with you?' face ever. "Are you fucking serious!?" I asked, bewildered.

"What? Serious about what?" Naruto asked from beside me.

I ignored him. "You never told him about this broken-ass cheat!?"

"Oi, teme! What the hell are you talking about?" Naruto yelled and I continued to ignore him.

Kakashi scratched his cheek in embarrassment. "Well, I never got the time to. Plus, I didn't think he'd need it."

_OH YOU'VE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW…_

I turned my face into a completely understanding expression. "Oh, tch- of course. My bad, boss! That makes complete sense!" I put both my hands on my head. "You didn't have the time to say, 'oh hey Naruto, whatever your clones learn, you also learn'. Shit, bro! Ugh… I can't believe I didn't think about that. You're absolutely right. No time. Definitely. I understand, eh. Mans be real busy tryna avoid black cats, and helping old women with groceries and shit, and… what else was it? Cute girls stopping you? Bro, real shit, forgive me, yeah? Big bossman don't got no TIME, yo!" I said to Naruto as if explaining something mind-blowing.

I turned serious again. Damn, someone give me an oscar, yo! My acting skills were off the chart. At least, if I say so myself.

"Honestly, _sensei_," I said. "At this point, I feel like I'd be a better teacher than you are."

Kakashi looked at me with his one emotionless eye. Naruto looked at me, then Kakashi, then back to me again. From my peripheral, I could see Neji and Gai-sensei observing us also.

Finally, after a long minute, Kakashi sighed. "I'm sorry, Naruto, for not teaching you about this," he apologized.

"I-It's okay, sensei," Naruto said with a wide smile. "You were busy. No problem!" he gave a thumbs up.

This guy… He really was way too kind for his own good.

Kakashi immediately got to explaining the uses of shadow clones while I left to hunt some game.

**...**

"Motherf-" I almost cursed as I stubbed my toe on a tree branch… AGAIN. Now… how was I supposed to 'hunt' again? Am I just supposed to see a chicken and run after it? Hmm… This was a real problem. Especially since I was a vegetarian in what would now be considered 'my past life'. Not that I had any qualms about killing or anything.

I concentrated and tried to bring back some memories about how to hunt from Sasuke's Academy classes… and… nothing. I came up empty. Screw it. The only thing I could rely on now was my training from when I used to be in the cadet program.

Let's see, how did it go again?

… Nope. Nothing again. Do I just… look for animals and chase them? Can't be that bad of an idea, right?

**...**

"SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! BAD IDEA! VERY FUCKING BAD IDEA!" I screamed as I ran for my life like Goldilocks with three bears hot on my heels.

"HEEELP! NARUTOOOO! KAKASHIIII! SAVE MEEEE!" Yes, I know I probably sounded like a little girl. I don't care. I just wanna survive. SHIIIIT. Screw it! They ain't coming! I gotta do something myself. But what the hell can I even do!? Wait… Is it possible to use techniques and stuff? Like, it should be possible to kill a bear if I use some Katon jutsu on it, right?

Sasuke's memories popped up as I tried to think of a jutsu and I swiftly ran through some hand seals: Rat, Tiger, Dog, Ox, Rabbit, Tiger! I jumped in the air while twisting. "Katon: Hosenka no Jutsu!" I yelled out and blew balls of fire out of my mouth while aiming at the bears' heads. I hit two fire balls on each bear's head. I've always had the best aim so no surprise there. What did surprise me though, is how easily the bears went down.

As I walked over, I got a clear look at them. Of course, objectively speaking, it's not that surprising that two fireballs to the face would down a bear, but… I dunno… I guess I just expected them to be a bit stronger than normal bears.

Alright, so I had killed three bears. What now? Uh… Do I, like, cut off the arms and stuff?

Just as I was pondering over what to do, Naruto burst through the foliage. "Sasuke! Are you okay?" he shouted, surveying the surroundings.

Aww, he was worried about me! I'm so happy! "Yeah, I'm fine, more or less. Just needed some help with the hunting, but I'm good now," I answered.

"Oh, okay," Naruto said.

"But I do still need your help. Do you know how we're supposed to make this," I said, gesturing to the dead bears, "edible?"

Naruto looked at me as if I grew another head. "We dismantle it!"

"Yeeeeeaaah, about that," I said scratching my cheek. "I didn't exactly pay attention in that class. Can you teach me?" I asked. Of course, that was a lie. But I knew that it'd make him feel less inferior and boost his confidence.

"Sure! Here, watch!" he said cheerfully and got to it.

**...**

When Naruto and I arrived back at the campsite with the food, it looked like the rest of the team had already set up the tents and whatnot for the night. "Hey guys! We've got bear stew for dinner!" Naruto yelled enthusiastically.

"Don't shout, Naruto," I said. "Anyone in the vicinity would be able to hear us. We want to keep our presence minimal," I admonished him without letting the others hear. At least, I hoped, but I'm pretty sure Kakashi and Gai had probably heard me.

"Huh? But this isn't a stealth mission," he tried to argue as we kept walking.

"Yes," I explained, "but it's still good practice to try to be as stealthy as possible. We are shinobi, after all. We work in the dark." Yeah, yeah, I know how cheesy that sounded but he's thirteen years old, dammit! How else would I explain it best to him!?

"Oh… I guess that's true," he replied while making his usual thinking face.

As we finally came to the small campfire, Tenten, Sakura, Gai, and Lee smiled brightly and said their thanks as they received the meat and started preparing it to be eaten. Neji, on the other hand, kept his stoic persona and tried to act as edgy as possible. Stupid-ass stuck-up dickhead.

Everyone sat around and did their own thing, waiting for the food to cook. Kakashi read his book, Tenten practiced a kunai trick with her hands, Neji meditated, Lee tried to make Sakura like him, Sakura tried to beat him off, Gai did some one hand pull-ups from a tree branch above, and Naruto, Tazuna, and I sat around with nothing really to do. I kept myself occupied by watching Tenten's cool trick and Sakura trying – and miserably failing – to beat Lee off.

And in that very moment, my genius brain did what it usually does and came up with a genius idea. I looked over to Naruto. He seemed to be in deep thought, but I decided to call out to him. "Ay bro, you bored?" I asked.

"Huh?" he said, looking over to me. He pointed to himself. "Are you asking me?"

I blinked.

He blinked.

"Who was I looking at when I asked the question?" I asked.

"Uh… me," he said.

"Then obviously I was asking you!" I said. "Anyway, are you bored?" I asked again.

"Yeah, kinda," he said.

"Alright, then let's sing a song!" I exclaimed.

Naruto – and basically everyone else – looked at me as if I was dumb. "What song?"

"It's called…" I paused for dramatic effect. Naruto and Lee leaned in in anticipation. Sakura and Tenten looked on in confusion. Neji had veins popping out around his eyes. Kakashi and Gai watched in amusement. "The Campfire Song Song!"

"... HUH?" Everyone said at once.

"Trust me. You'll get it once I start—" I tried to say but was immediately interrupted.

"Actually, Sasuke," said Kakashi. "We need to keep a low profile, so I don't think it'll be a good idea for you to sing."

Well… he had a point. "Yeah, I guess you're right," I said.

It would've been super cool if he had let me sing though.

* * *

**Been a while since I updated, eh? Lol.  
Leave some reviews ples.**

**P.S. To everyone who is suffering in any way because of this pandemic, I hope y'all make it through. **


	5. End of Wave

**5**

**End of Wave**

* * *

When the sun finally rose, we immediately packed up everything and set out once more. Kakashi – finally after taking so much shit from me – taught us a couple of basic techniques to erase our presence in the field. They were just simple jutsus like a Doton one for burying trash, and a Futon one for clearing out the air of any lingering scents.

The company of shinobi and one client arrived at the shore where we all got into two boats and set off. As we sailed, the mist became thicker and so did the lump in my throat. Ah, right, I was having a mini panic attack since I knew what was coming. Should I say something? But… What do I even say? Something like 'oh hey guys watch out for an A-rank missing-nin called Zabuza Momochi, yeah?' definitely wouldn't fly.

Maybe I should just let it all play out… Yeah, let's try that. I'll keep my Sharingan on when we arrive on the other side… Which was right about now.

"We're in hostile territory now. Be careful and pay attention to your surroundings," Kakashi said as we stepped off the boat.

As we continued walking, I activated my Sharingan and noticed something weird. "Kakashi, there's chakra in the mist," I said, alerting everyone. From the veins around his eyes, I assume Neji had already found out too but had kept quiet.

"Yes, I felt it too. Good job identifying it," Kakashi replied.

"What does that mean?" Naruto asked.

"It means that this mist isn't natural and someone created it to act as a smokescreen to ambush us," I explained. "The main thing is that we do not know if it's always this misty with this chakra mist twenty-four-seven, or if it's here specifically to ambush us."

"Hm. Good analysis," Kakashi said.

At that exact moment, Naruto flicked a kunai into the bushes. Oh shit, it's happening! That's the sign that the attack is coming. Everyone was startled a little bit, but none as much as me.

Kakashi noticed that and asked, "Anything wrong, Sasuke?"

I can't say anything. SHIT!

"I have a really, **really**, bad feeling right now," I said, wary of anything incoming. Kakashi raised an eyebrow at me.

And that was the exact moment that it happened. The whistling noise reached my ears first and I instantly grabbed Naruto and Sakura by their shoulders and pulled them to the ground while yelling "DUCK" as loud as possible.

Kakashi also hit the ground, pulling Tazuna down with him and I assumed Team Gai did the same as I couldn't see them.

A second later a loud 'thunk' sounded, followed by a girly scream and maniacal laughter. I looked up and saw Kakashi had already gotten up with a kunai in his hand and his Sharingan eye open, while on a tree in front of us, Zabuza stood on his sword that was embedded into the tree trunk and from this arm was Tenten being held in the air by the collar.

"Make a move, and she dies," Zabuza said immediately. In the corner of my eye, I could see her kunai holster and weapons pouch lying on the ground.

SHIT! This didn't happen in canon. He probably did this because he was two high-level jonin and thought he needed some leverage to go against us. DAMN IT!

"Let her go now, or you die," I heard an ice-cold voice come from behind me. I knew it was Gai, but I had never heard him like that. I guess because of his eccentric personality, sometimes we just forget that he is also a shinobi on the level of a Kage. Naruto, Sakura, and I slowly began to stand up.

"Give me the old man, and I'll let her go," Zabuza said.

"That's not happening," Kakashi countered.

I've seen hostage situations like these on TV. The only way to resolve this is for a sniper to take the perpetrator out. Obviously, that's not possible right now since I don't have a C14 rifle on me at the moment. And even if Kakashi or Gai had such amazing aim, Zabuza would have Tenten's head divorce her body the moment any of them moved. So now, the only way to clear the situation was to give him Tazuna.

"You have two choices," Zabuza spoke. "Give me the old man, or let this girl die." Kakashi and Gai went silent for a second.

An idea hit me.

I began my acting, looking like I was scared of everything that was going on, and made my way behind Naruto to act like I was hiding behind me. Kakashi started speaking again, and I whispered to Naruto, "when the smoke bomb goes off, make a clone, transform him into Tazuna and immediately use the burying doton jutsu to bury the real Tazuna underground, don't question it. Just nod." Burying Tazuna might kill him, only if we didn't let him breathe for more than four minutes. I think I'll take my chances.

Naruto nodded subtly and I thanked the heavens he didn't try to compete and be defiant this time.

"Hey!" Zabuza roared and pointed a kunai at me and Naruto. "What the hell are you two doing!?"

Ah, perfect chance.

"N-Nothing!" I exclaimed, stuttering intentionally. "I-I was just saying that a K-Konoha ninja is worth more than a client!" I said timidly.

Zabuza looked at me suspiciously. "Sasuke," Kakashi said, warning me to not do anything further.

"What?" I asked defiantly. "You told us to never leave comrades behind! Tenten is worth more than a client!" I said. I turned to Tazuna – who looked ready to shit himself – and apologized, "sorry Tazuna-san. No offence."

"Quiet, Sasuke!" Kakashi said angrily.

"No!" I yelled and moved towards Kakashi, which was in the same direction as Tazuna thankfully. "You wanna go!?" I yelled again and pulled a kunai out of my pouch while simultaneously, 'accidentally' dropping a smoke bomb.

"Oh shit!" I yelled as loud as possible and ran out of the smoke in the direction of Zabuza while violently coughing so that he could see me. Hopefully, him seeing me would reassure him that I wasn't doing anything fishy, and seeing me coughing would make him think that I'm just a stupid genin who made a mistake.

Instantly after I came out, Kakashi also followed me out of the smoke with Tazuna. "This is not the time for your mischief, Sasuke!" Kakashi said, but not with as much force. That was the cue that he understood the plan.

"Tch, whatever," I said in annoyance and looked to Zabuza who was keenly observing us.

"Zabuza. Let. The girl. GO!" Kakashi commanded.

"Give me the old man," Zabuza replied calmly.

"I-I'll go. No need to waste a young life for this old man," Tazuna, who was actually Naruto's clone, said.

"Tazuna-san!" Kakashi yelled.

"It's okay, Kakashi-san. I thank you for protecting me all this way, even if you didn't have to," Tauzna said and started walking forwards.

Zabuza jumped off his sword and fell, ripping the huge cleaver out of the tree on his way down.

"Augh!" Tenten yelled as she fell with him and hit the ground with Zabuza.

"Let Tenten go now," Gai said.

"I will," Zabuza said, "as soon as he reaches me."

"Tazuna-san, stop!" Kakashi yelled, and 'Tazuna' stopped. "Zabuza, let her go or you're not getting him."

The Kiri nin looked at us for a second before cocking his arm back and throwing Tenten into the air towards me. As if by instinct, I channelled chakra to my legs and jumped, catching Tenten from the air and being thrown back with her because of the incredible momentum. "OOF!" I said unintentionally as we both crashed, with Tenten's entire weight on me.

"Are you okay?" she asked as she got off me.

Before I could answer, a loud explosion rocked us.

It seemed that at the same time that Zabuza had thrown Tenten, he had also moved forward and cut Tazuna across the chest with his sword and the clone had blown up. I didn't know Naruto knew that jutsu! Or maybe it was Kakashi that made the clone?

I stood up and saw that Naruto had already pulled the real Tazuna out of the ground and Sakura was helping him get his breathing under control while Kakashi and Gai were battling it out with Zabuza. It was visible how overwhelmed he was, trying to fight off two of the strongest Konoha jonins at once. Naruto, Neji, and Lee had formed a perimeter around Sakura and Tazuna and Tenten and I made our way to them also.

The fight continued for about ten seconds before a monstrous kick from Gai sent Zabuza flying. The Kiri nin hit a tree and fell. The sound of a thousand birds filled the clearing as Kakashi instantly fired up his Raikiri.

Before anyone could make a move though, two senbon came flying and hit Zabuza in the neck, making him drop lifelessly. A short ninja dressed in a yukata and donning a Kiri hunter nin mask blurred beside Zabuza's body.

Ah, here comes Haku.

"Thank you, shinobi-san," he said with a small bow. "I apologize for taking your kill, but I have been hunting for Zabuza Momochi for a while. I couldn't help but jump at the chance to finally end him."

Kakashi and Gai tensed a little bit. "You are?" Kakashi asked.

"I am a shinobi of the hunter crops of Kirigakure," Haku answered without a waver in his.

The two Konoha jonin looked at each other before Kakashi nodded. "You wouldn't mind if we checked his pulse, would you?" he asked.

Haku nodded and gestured with his hand. "Please, go ahead."

"Kakashi! Can I also join you? I also want to see something on him that bothered me!" I exclaimed urgently. This might be my only chance to get close to Zabuza. I need to finish him off while possible.

"Hm?" Kakashi said, turning his head and looking at me warily. "Sure." He turned and started walking towards the 'dead' body.

I ran and caught up to him, kunai still in my hand. Kakashi kneeled beside Zabuza and held two fingers to his neck. Feeling no pulse, he nodded. I also held two of my fingers to his neck while subtly activating my Sharingan. This was it. I had to create a small diversion.

"So," I began, "when he was on **that** tree," I said a bit louder, pointing dramatically at the tree that Zabuza had stuck his sword on. Thankfully, the tree was behind Haku and my loud voice, coupled with my dramatic, enthusiastic pointing distracted Haku just barely enough that he inclined his head a little to the side.

In a split second, my other hand moved, and in a swift motion cut deeply into Zabuza's neck. It was deep enough to have severed both the carotid and the jugular arteries. And instantly, after without any waste of movement, I stuck the kunai deep into Zabuza's eye, far enough that I was pretty sure it hit his brain.

"NOOO!" Haku screamed like the world was ending and jumped at me. So fast that even if I could see him with my Sharingan active, my body just wasn't fast enough to react. I could see in almost slow motion the senbon that his hand was clutching, approaching my open eye.

I guess I was going to lose my right eye today, huh? This was definitely going to hurt.

But before that could happen, Kakashi's kunai deflected the path just enough that the senbon grazed my cheek and Gai was on top of Haku right away.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU! LEMME GO! I'LL HAVE YOU FUCKING BURN IN HELL!" Haku screamed, glaring daggers at me. The killing intent he was releasing was leagues higher than what Kakashi had ever tried on me – of course, no that it really worked on me. But it showed the sheer fury that Haku was feeling.

"Sasuke, what the hell!?" Kakashi also yelled at me, helping Gai restrain the fake hunter nin.

"What? Zabuza wasn't really dead. This guy isn't a real hunter nin. You can tell by how hurt he looks just because I killed Zabuza," I said, standing up on shaky knees. I was trying to act tough, but that was only because I nearly pissed myself.

"Damn it," Kakashi sighed and took off Haku's mask. "Gai, we'll have to restrain her and bring her with us," he said and Gai nodded. I decided not to correct them. He'll tell us soon enough.

**...**

Tazuna knocked on the door to his home. "Coming!" came a melodious voice from inside. The door opened and a beautiful face coupled with a stunning figure came into view. "Ah, father!" exclaimed the older woman and hugged Tazuna, glad to see him alive and well. She turned her attention toward us next. "Who are these people, father?" she asked.

"They're the shinobi who protected and escorted me." He turned to us. "This is my daughter, Tsunami," he said, introducing us.

Tsunami and Tazuna welcomed us into the home and cooked up a nice filling meal which was mainly rice because of the shortage of food in the country. Conversations went swimmingly until finally, it was time to turn in for the night. Tsunami profusely apologized for only having a couple of rooms to spare, but we waved her concerns off. Gai, Neji, and Lee took one of the rooms on the top, and Sakura and Tenten took the other one while Kakashi, Naruto, and I laid out our sleeping bags in the living room. It was decided that Neji would stand guard for the first night.

The next day began bright and early, with Neji, Lee, and Tenten having to guard Tazuna while he worked and Kakashi taking Team Seven into the forest to train. Gai stayed behind and watched over our prisoner – Haku.

"Alright, team," Kakashi began, making sure we were all paying attention. "Today I'll be teaching you a very basic skill all shinobi have."

I hope he doesn't say tree walking.

"I'll be teaching you how to climb trees." Goddammit.

"Ay bossman," I called out. Kakashi threw an exasperated glance at me. I merely turned around and stepped onto the nearest tree. Instead of explaining everything, I decided to just get to the point. Channelling chakra into my feet, legs, and core, I looked at Kakashi and put my other foot on the tree and started walking up.

Kakashi smiled and said, "May I ask where you learned this from?"

"Konoha Shinobi Library and Archives," I answered. That was a lie. I didn't go to the shinobi library. I was from pure memory combined with trial and error.

"I see. That's good, I guess," he said. "You can teach Naruto and Sakura how to do that."

"Umm… sensei," Sakura said with a nervous laugh. "We know it too." Naruto nodded along.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Can you please demonstrate?" he asked as he unveiled his Sharingan, most likely to check how we were controlling our chakra flow, and I did the same, activating my own dojutsu. In a matter of seconds, Sakura and Naruto were also on a tree of their own. Kakashi turned his head to look at me as if to say 'seriously?'.

I shrugged as I let the minor chakra flow to my eyes stop. "Someone had to train them properly. This is what we were doing when we trained during our personal time." Yeah, I knew I was being a brat but I won't stop until he takes his duties seriously, dammit!

Kakashi shook his head while sighing as he covered his Sharingan. "Alright, I guess I'll get you guys started on water walking," he said and looked at me expectantly. Smartass.

"I got us all started but we're not finished yet," I said.

Kakashi nodded and led us back to Tazuna's house to practice on the water beside it. "You can also guard the house while practicing," he had said, and I can't lie, that did seem like a good idea.

When we got there, we immediately started practicing, helping each other out when needed. Kakashi watched us for a while before he too left us to our own devices and went into the house, probably to interrogate Haku with Gai. I waited for five minutes after he was gone and also stepped into the house. Kakashi and Gai probably realized, but hopefully, they think I'm just here to get a cup of water or something.

I walked over to my bag and pulled out a balloon which I then filled with water from the kitchen's faucet. It was time to try to learn the Rasengan on my own. Just because it was Naruto's special move, didn't mean I couldn't learn it too. And since I already know all the tricks, it really shouldn't take me that long to learn it. At least, I hoped so. Also, if I learn it before the Chunin Exam, I could get Naruto and Sakura started on it also. I'm not going to keep powerful moves secret from the people I'll probably be calling family in the future.

**...**

The rest of the days quickly passed by in a blur of activities and training. After the three of us mastered water walking, Naruto trained on improving his chakra control – after a three-hour-long lecture from me and Sakura about why that's important (Kakashi gave up in five minutes) – and Sakura trained on improving her strength and endurance after me telling her "I like girls who are stronger than me". I, on the other hand, somehow convinced Kakashi to teach me some genjutsu. In the end, instead of actually teaching, he just wrote down a jutsu – Magen: Kokoni Arazu no Jutsu – and how to do it on a scroll and handed it to me.

Gai and his team had decided to survey the situation and had come back in three days with Gato as a prisoner. Officially, he was charged with unlawful manufacturing and distribution of narcotics, human trafficking, racketeering, and a couple more charges under the United Anti-Narcotics Act. Kakashi had used his dog summons to contact the Hokage and a team of ANBU had appeared in a day to take away Gato and Haku with them.

Lastly, my water balloon practice was coming to an end. Jiraiya's advice that I remembered from the anime truly helped a lot. "Make the chakra spin in different directions," I remembered him saying. I don't know if Kakashi hadn't discovered me using the water balloon, or if he just didn't care enough to approach me about it. Either way, that was good for me since I needed as much practice as possible.

On our second last day in Wave country, I had finally succeeded in popping the balloon with only one hand. When it had popped in my hand and the cool water splashed on my hand and arm, I had realized exactly why Naruto loved to train so hard. The feeling of accomplishment was euphoric. Knowing that my efforts paid off provided me with even greater motivation and I started practicing the genjutsu in earnest.

* * *

**I apologize if this chapter feels rushed. I just wanted to get over with Wave. ****On god, t****his is always the most annoying part to write.**

**The question I'm stuck on now is whether I should let Sasuke go to Oro-pedo or nah. LMK what you think in the reviews. Or PM. Either way works. **


	6. Naruto's Secret

**6**

**Naruto's Secret**

* * *

"Finally home!" Naruto shouted cheerfully as the massive green gates of Konoha came into sight. I had finally gotten used to thinking as this place like home so it also filled me with relief and a sense of safety. Funny how humans adapt so quickly.

"Yosh! To celebrate a mission success, I will run five laps around Konoha on my hands! And if I can't do that, I will climb the Hokage mountain with only one hand!" Lee also shouted from beside the blond as Gai followed it up with a challenge of his own.

The three of them had bonded well, unsurprisingly. Probably only because they alone had the energy to keep up with each others'… youthfulness… goddamn, I was spending way too much time around these crackheads.

Now that the Wave mission had ended, I could finally relax a little bit and focus fully on training and learning new shinobi skills. As far as I remember, the only thing after this was the Chunin Exams. At least, until the three-year-long break.

"Kakashi," I said, turning my head to look at the elite jonin.

"Hmm?" he hummed, showing as little interest as possible and I mentally scowled. I understood that he was supposed to be the cool, aloof, genius type of guy, but would it kill him to be a little bit serious sometimes. Stupid dumbass.

"How long do we have till the Chunin Exams?" I asked.

I assume that finally got his attention since he turned his eyes from the little orange book to me.

"Ready for more action already, Sasuke?" Kakashi asked mirthfully.

'_No, I just want to plan out my training_,' I wanted to reply but held back my tongue. "Yeah, sure. Let's go with that," I said instead, implying that it's not the reason I asked, but was content with letting him believe it.

Kakashi kept a smile on his face and stared at me for a second before replying. "I think it's in about four months, but I don't know if I'll even nominate you three," he said and kept his eye on me, most likely to gauge my reaction.

"I see. Thank you," I said and turned my head again to look at the road.

Four months. That should be more than enough for me to master the Rasengan… hopefully. And depending on that, I may also be able to teach it to Naruto and Sakura. Moreover, using the Rasengan as a bargaining chip, I may even be able to make Naruto teach me the Shadow Clone Jutsu. I probably won't be able to use it to learn techniques and stuff like Naruto does, but I may be able to learn Fuinjutsu. We'll see, though.

As for the Chunin Exams, I don't know if I even want to participate. I understand that it's held to show different clients the power and potential of each of the Ninja Forces, but I still find it pointless. Why would I want to reveal my skills to potential enemies? I feel bad for Naruto and Sakura not being able to take the exam because of me, but I'll try to make them understand. If they still insist, I'll have to figure out a counter for Orochimaru, and then drop out right before the prelims after making it through the Forest of Death.

The journey through the gate and the streets of Konoha was a normal one. Well… as normal as it could get. Naruto still walked at the front with Lee and Gai. A bit behind them was Sakura and Tenten conversing about weapons – surprisingly – and which one would be best for Sakura's body shape and fighting style. Right behind was Neji, occasionally adding a few words of advice to Sakura and Tenten, and quite some distance behind them were Kakashi and me.

Naruto joked and laughed boisterously but I could clearly see how strained it felt. Lee likely hadn't noticed the glares and dirty looks if his continued enthusiasm was any evidence. The other genin were a bit behind them and also remained ignorant of the situation, while Kakashi and Gai were professional enough to not let it bother them. I guess this is the perfect chance to bring up the topic.

"Y'know," I began quietly, eyes staring at Naruto's back. I could feel Kakashi's eye slowly drift to me. "It's a surprise he still manages to stay loyal to this shithole," I said.

I heard a snap and couldn't help but look upwards. Kakashi had snapped his book shut and was staring at me, daring to go on.

Mentally smirking, I took a step away from him and put a wary expression on my face. "Ay, ay, man!" I said a bit loudly to get everyone else's attention too. "Don't look at me like that bruh, I don't swing that way! Nuh-uh!" I said. My face changed to a thinking pose. "And I'm pretty sure student-teacher relationships are forbidden too," I added, squinting my eyes.

I looked ahead, breaking eye contact with the jonin and trying my hardest to not start rolling on the ground in laughter. Sakura was looking at Kakashi with visible fear as if she expected him to try and steal me away from her. Naruto, Tenten, and Neji looked at him in a mixture of fear and disgust. Lee just looked confused. And Gai… Oh, I fucking loved the look of disbelief on his face.

"Kakashi…?" Gai said slowly.

And that did it. It was laughter that came from my lungs. One that absolutely robbed me of my breath. "I'm... I'm sorry," I said, clutching my stomach. This was too hilarious. After a few seconds, I finally got my breathing under control and we continued on our way. I could see all the others let out a breath of relief – Gai mainly, which made me question a lot of things – but that small prank felt awesome.

As we kept walking towards the Hokage Tower, Kakashi finally spoke. "I don't know which issue to address first. Your pranks, or what you said about this place being a 'shithole'," he said.

I scoffed. "If you don't know whether to give priority to a slight to your dignity and 'authority', or address a potential flight risk, that alone speaks volumes about the kind of shinobi you are," I replied.

Kakashi exhaled. "Very well then," he said. "Let's talk about what you said before."

"What part?"

"Your exact words were: 'It's a surprise he still manages to stay loyal to this shithole'. What did you mean by that?" Kakashi asked.

I smiled. He was finally getting used to arguing with me. This will be fun. "I meant what I said."

"Who did you mean by 'he' in that sentence?"

"Naruto Uzumaki," I replied.

"And by 'shithole', you meant?" Kakashi asked.

"Konohagakure no Sato."

"So then why would you say it's a surprise that Naruto manages to stay loyal to Konoha?" Kakashi asked.

"Look around," I replied simply. "Look at all the civilians and even some shinobi glaring at the kid as if he was a demon or something. Lord knows what he did, but I don't think any prank could possibly be that bad to warrant such a treatment from the entire village." I paused. "Hell, I don't think even the Kyuubi would get this much continuous hate."

Kakashi stayed silent, contemplating my words. "You sound almost as if you know why they hate him so much," he said after a few long seconds.

"I wish I did," I replied.

"Are you saying you do not?" Kakashi asked.

"I do not know why the villagers hate Naruto so much."

Kakashi once more stayed silent for a bit before he spoke again. "But you have some theories," he stated. Yes. Now, **this **was getting fun.

"I may."

"May I hear them?"

"No."

"As your jonin sensei, I am ordering you to tell me," he said.

WHAT!? That was cheating, dammit! Actually, you know what!? Fine! If he wants to play it like that, then so be it!

"Well," I started speaking as loudly as possible. "Seeing as how Naruto's birth—" I was immediately interrupted by Kakashi's gloved hand clamping over my mouth. His grip over my face was strong as hell and I couldn't even move back since he was holding me against him.

"We'll talk about this later. For now, stay quiet. That's an order," he said.

YES! I win. I nodded and he let me go. I smiled widely at my victory and relished in Kakashi's annoyed look. This was just too much fun.

**...**

When we reached the central tower, Kakashi and Gai sent us to pick up our mission pay while they went to the Hokage office for their mission debrief.

"So, what's the plan?" I asked as we exited the place after picking up a hefty sum for the A-rank.

"Ugh, I'm just going to go home and take a shower," Sakura said, running a hand through her hair.

"I'm also going to do the same. Then maybe stop by Ichiraku's for some dinner," Naruto said, followed by, "you guys wanna join me?"

"I won't be able to since I have to have dinner with my parents today. Sorry, Naruto," Sakura said with an apologetic smile.

"It's alright. No sweat!" Naruto replied with a grin, but I didn't miss the disappointed tone in his voice.

"I'll probably join you later," I said, and he immediately perked up at that. "But first," I continued, "I need to talk to you both," I said with seriousness.

Naruto and Sakura looked at me expectantly. I formed a sweatdrop.

"Not here. Let's go somewhere private."

**...**

I stood, leaning against a tree in one of the forests of Konoha, while Sakura sat on one of the branches.

"What is it, Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked, and Naruto looked at me questioningly from where he stood.

I breathed in deeply and then exhaled, preparing for what was about to happen. "You guys remember the date of the Kyuubi attack?" I asked. Immediately, I saw Naruto stiffen a bit whereas Sakura merely looked confused.

"Uh… about twelve years ago right?" Sakura asked.

"The exact date," I said.

"October tenth." Surprisingly, it was Naruto who replied.

"And when is your birthday, Naruto?" I asked with an emotionless face.

"..." I could visibly see Naruto's breath hitch.

A couple of silent seconds later, he smiled. A smile I've never seen before. A sad one that held tremendous pain. On a level that I probably couldn't even imagine. He smiled as if to say 'it was fun while it lasted', and that broke me. I walked towards him quickly and harshly grabbed his shoulders with both of my hands, forcing him to look me in the eyes.

"I don't know what you're thinking," I said, "but whatever it is, stop it!"

"Huh?" he asked intelligently.

"You, Sakura, and even Kakashi to an extent. You guys are the closest thing I have to family right now, and I'll walk through hell before I'll let you feel like you've been abandoned," I said, meaning every single word. "So I don't know what you're thinking – the Sharingan can't read minds – but whatever it is, just stop it, and speak to us."

I heard a branch rustle behind me and a light thud signalled Sakura jumping off her spot, onto the ground.

"Tell us what you have to, Naruto," I spoke, a little more subdued. "Just because a kunai is sealed into a scroll, it does not make the scroll a kunai," I said, mainly to make Sakura understand what was about to be said.

Naruto's eyes widened as he looked at me in surprise. I smiled softly and let go of him.

"Please," I pleaded. "Just talk to us."

"N-Naruto? Sasuke-kun? What's going on?" Sakura asked from behind me.

"Let's just listen to what Naruto has to say," I said to her, taking a step back.

Seeing our expectant eyes fall on him, Naruto inhaled deeply before he started talking.

"I… In the academy," he started. "The sensei always taught us that the Yondaime killed the Kyuubi when it attacked Konoha," he paused. "That's a lie," he declared.

"What?" Sakura asked. "What do you mean 'that's a lie'? The sensei lied to us?"

"Not on purpose. They were probably bound by law," I answered and nodded for Naruto to continue.

"When I failed the graduation exam and was sitting on the swing, Mizuki-teme came to me and told me he had a special assignment for me, which by completing, I would become a genin." Sakura looked confused at where this was going. "He told me to sneak into the Hokage tower at night and steal the Scroll of Sealing."

"What's the Scroll of Sealing?" Sakura asked. It wasn't a surprise that she didn't know.

"A scroll that is stored in the Hokage tower that has some of the most powerful jutsus ever made. Mostly invented by the Nidaime Hokage," I answered.

Naruto nodded at me, thanking me for explaining and continued telling his story, looking off into the trees as he spoke. "I – being the idiot I am – believed him and stole it. I got to the place that Mizuki told me to come to with the scroll and sat down to learn a jutsu. That's where I learned the Shadow Clone." He took a deep breath as if to steel himself to continue with the story. "Then, Iruka-sensei came to me and I thought I passed. I was so happy. Heh," Naruto laughed. A sound that I'd never thought I'd hear coming from him. It was a harsh self-deprecating one that would hurt you to the core if you heard it.

"It turned out that Mizuki was a traitor and was only using me to get his hands on the scroll. Iruka-sensei told me about that. Mizuki tried to attack me, and Iruka-sensei jumped in the way and protected me. That's when Mizuki revealed it. The village-wide secret that no one is supposed to speak of, yet almost everyone knows." Naruto looked at us and I felt my chest squeeze at the tortured look in his sky blue eyes. "Did you know that beings like the Kyuubi are actually just constructs of chakra and cannot actually be killed."

From my peripheral vision, I could see Sakura widening her eyes in surprise before narrowing them once more in confusion.

"They can only be sealed. And inanimate objects are not strong enough to withstand the sealing of such massive amounts of chakra. As such, only living beings can hold the Tailed Beasts," Naruto said, and I saw Sakura's mouth slowly open at the influx of this new information. "The Yondaime sealed the Kyuubi into a newborn baby. That was me." Naruto chuckled, but it sounded hollow. "So the next time you wonder why the villagers hate me and glare at me, well… now you know," he finished and once again smiled sadly.

A couple of seconds passed in silence before I spoke. "I don't know how you do it," I said, making sure to convey the massive amount of respect I felt towards the blond. "But you have my utmost respect for living through the idiotic hate of the villagers and not turning to hate yourself."

"Sasuke…" Naruto said, speechless.

If someone asked me to tell them a key point about my personality, one of the main ones would be that I don't bow or kneel. **EVER**. TO ANYONE. Not unless it's a mocking one where everyone knows that I don't mean it. I don't bow or kneel to anyone except my parents, and God – if such a being exists. And so, in front of this young man who deserved my utmost respect, I bowed. A full bow where my upper body was parallel to the ground. "Thank you, Naruto," I said as I stood up once again. "Thank you for keeping the village safe. Thank you for being Konoha's shield every single day. Thank you so very much for not turning to violence, despite the hate you suffer every second you're in the village. From the bottom of my heart, Naruto, thank you," I said and smiled at him.

"Um… I…" Naruto tried to say with eyes wide as saucers. He clearly didn't expect this.

"N-Naruto," Sakura said, holding her hand over her mouth as a few tears spilled out of her emerald eyes. "I'm so sorry. I had no idea what you were going through, and I… I… I bullied you so much. I can't believe it," she said in disgust and sobbed.

"No! Sakura-chan! It's okay!" Naruto said quickly, waving his hands around to placate her.

"No, Naruto, it's not," I said. Naruto looked at me confusedly and Sakura looked down in shame. "We both mistreated you all through the Academy years when you only wanted a few friends. And for that, I also deeply apologize. Please forgive us," I said.

"Eh? Uh, yeah guys, for sure! No sweat. Don't worry about it," Naruto said, on the verge of tears himself. "Thinking about it, I might've been a bit annoying too. Ehehe," he chuckled as he wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

I smiled fondly as once more, our team's bond grew a little stronger.

* * *

**Yeah, I know this is a short chapter. I'm sorry but I had to cut it off here or else the chapter would've been super long.**  
**Also, I was thinking about changing the fic's title from 'Reddit Accident' to something more interesting. Any ideas?**


	7. Interrogation Time!

**7**

**Interrogation Time**

* * *

After calming down Sakura and lightening the mood a little bit, Naruto and I walked her home. Once she entered her house, we also got on our way to Naruto's home.

"Ne, Sasuke?" Naruto asked once we were close to his apartment.

"Hm?" I said.

"How did you know?" Naruto asked me.

'_Because I've watched your entire life in the form of an anime_,' I wanted to say but I have a weird feeling that that might've raised some flags. I shrugged. "It's really not that hard. I knew you pranked people through that village, but that still shouldn't get you that much hate. So I wondered what it was about you. I did a little digging and concluded that somehow you were related to the Kyuubi," I explained, hoping he wouldn't ask anymore.

"Oh," Naruto said quietly.

"Naruto?" I called out once we reached his apartment and he looked at me. "Don't ask me how," I began, making sure to tell him I don't want him asking how I got the knowledge, "but I heard that you've been having trouble buying your food and equipment and stuff and you're getting overcharged for it. Is that true?" I asked. I made sure to ask this first before offering anything since the only place I remembered reading about this was in fanfics and never in canon, though I might have just forgotten it.

Naruto's eyes widened in surprise once more before he looked down sadly. "Y-Yeah. It's only the Ichiraku Ramen Stand that doesn't look at me like I'm a demon," he said. "I can't even use a henge to buy things because the seals in the shop doorways disrupt your chakra flow every time you walk through them," he said with a small scowl.

I nodded. "Well, from now on, if you ever need to buy something from somewhere, just give me a list and when I go to get my groceries, I'll go get your things for you too, if you want," I offered.

"R-Really!?" Naruto asked in disbelief. "You'd do that?"

I chuckled at his enthusiasm. "Yeah, sure thing, man. And I'll ask Sakura too if she'd be willing to help. After all, we are a team, right?" I asked with a small smile.

"Eh? Haha, I guess you're right," Naruto said, rubbing the back of his head. "Thanks, Sasuke."

I waved him off. "Don't worry about it. It's the least I could do," I said. He looked like he wanted to say something, so I paused before saying goodbye.

Naruto scratched his cheek with a finger and looked to the side as he said, "Y-You know, I… uh… I can bring some home-cooked lunch for you for our training sessions." He quickly put his hands up and waved, adding, "Only if you want though if you think it won't be good enough, that's okay too… but—"

"Naruto," I said, seeing that he was starting to ramble on. "I'd love to have your home-cooked lunches," I replied, deciding to not show my surprise at the fact that he actually knew how to cook.

Naruto grinned widely. "Awesome!" he yelled, making me laugh too.

"Anyway, it's getting late. I'm gonna head home now, alright?" I said, holding out my fist.

Naruto grinned widely and fist-bumped me. "Alright, see you tomorrow, Sasuke!" he said with a wide smile and climbed the stairs to his apartment.

**...**

I was currently in my room in the Uchiha clan compound with a rubber ball in my hand. Although after the massacre, the Hokage had given me an apartment, I still had to pay the rent for it from the monthly orphan stipend that I received. And what more, the apartment building itself was owned by the Government of Konoha. This meant that the Hokage only had to give me a small amount of money as the rest of the building would just automatically flow back into Konoha's treasury. That was the moment I realized that Hiruzen was a fucking rat bastard. Fuck that stupid dickhead.

As soon as I had found that out, I had immediately moved back into my clan grounds. Yeah, it was pretty far and secluded but I didn't care about that. If anything, that just made it easier for me to keep my activities a secret.

So now, I was in my room, rubber ball in my hand, trying to blow this shit up by overloading the spinning chakra in it. Even though I had just gotten it a few hours ago after leaving Naruto's place, I was already pretty close to popping it. The rubber ball stretched and shook violently but didn't pop yet. That was evidence that I was close but just didn't have enough chakra to overload it completely.

Disappointed at another failed attempt, I set the ball down with a sigh and went to the backyard to start my workout that I did every other night.

Five sets of ten push-ups, different types of sit-ups, pull-ups, muscle-ups and burpees with breaks of about five minutes in between. Five sets of a minute of different types of planks. Three sets of fifty punches, kicks, and different hand-to-hand combat techniques. And finally, five kilometres of intense running.

It was when I had finally finished that last exercise that an ANBU operative with a bear mask had body-flickered right behind me. "Sasuke Uchiha," he spoke.

"AAAHHH!" I screamed, and threw five kunai at him, having the absolute living shit scared out of me. The ANBU deftly dodged each one of them and looked unperturbed. "Don't do that, you stupid fucking dickhead!" I yelled at him. I was shirtless, dammit! I needed some privacy!

"I need you to come with me," he said professionally.

"Nah, fuck you! Fuck off, you expired piece of oatmeal! Go suck a dick!" I said, angrily.

"I need you to come with me," he said once again with an edge to his voice.

"'I nEed yOU to cOmE wiTh mE' shut the fuck up," I said, mocking him. "Bitch," I added, squinting my eyes. "If you want me to come with you, go to my front door, knock, then wait till I answer," I demanded. "Bitch," I added once more. "Dickhead," just for extra measure.

Yeah, I know. I know exactly what I'm doing, and exactly who I'm speaking to, but I don't give a shit. They're gonna make me go with them either way. I might as well have some fun. And I'm not too worried about them hurting me. I was a clan heir. Clan privileges.

The ANBU pulled out a piece of rope from somewhere and held it up. "Sasuke Uchiha, the Hokage and your jonin-sensei demand your presence. Right now."

"The Hokage can come here and get me if he wants to talk to me," I said. "Let's not let him forget that I'm the Uchiha clan heir." Yay for politics, am I right? "And as for Kakashi," I said. "He can come here and suck my balls."

The ANBU looked at a loss for words. I took the chance to take a look around with my Sharingan and counted seven other ANBU on rooftops.

"AY YOOO," I said, mind blown, and spoke to the rooftop ANBU. "What the actual shit!? The Hokage sent two whole-ass squads of ANBU for **me**, a genin!? How strong do y'all think I am!? Or do you guys just not have anything better to do?"

I looked at the ANBU standing in front of me. "Oy!" I said, trying to see into the holes in his mask. "You alive in there, bud?" I asked and jabbed my thumb at my house before he could answer. "Fuck outta here and go knock," I said, cocking my head toward the front door.

The ANBU looked at one of the rooftop ANBU – presumably his captain. I looked in the direction too, and I saw one of them – the one with the tiger mask – nod. Instantly, I jumped back and just missed the bear mask's hand. "Nah, fuck off, mate!" I said as I tried to run into the house. I knew it was impossible. There's no way I could possibly outrun or outmaneuver fricking ANBU! But I decided to have some fun. I was not to be, as before I even got half a step ahead, I found myself on the ground, with my mouth full of grass.

"Sasuke Uchiha, you are under arrest," the ANBU said. The tone was mostly emotionless, but I could hear just a hint of smugness in it.

"Yeah, fuck you," I said and resigned myself to being carried to wherever they took me. The ANBU tied me up all while being showered by my insults and threw me over his shoulder.

I forgot that I still had my Sharingan activated and because of that, I saw the small build-up of chakra for a body-flicker. I smiled deviously and pushed my own chakra out from my stomach into his shoulder, disrupting his flow and cancelled his technique.

"Hah…" the ANBU sighed.

"Let me go shower and put on a clean set of clothes, and I'll come with you willingly," I offered with a smirk.

Bear mask picked me up and put me on the ground. I smiled the smug Spongebob smile as I looked at him. He took out a slip of paper and slapped it on the forehead.

"OW!" I said, annoyed at the little shit.

Bear mask picked me up once more, and I realized he had slapped on a chakra suppression seal on my forehead.

"Two can play that game bitch!" I said and started screaming. LOUD. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" I yelled right into his ear as loud as possible. I'd let chakra flow to my throat if I were sure it wouldn't blow my neck out. But I wasn't sure, so I didn't. I continued yelling into the ANBU's ear.

Once again, the guy put me down, and before I could say anything, he stuffed my mouth with a piece of cloth.

"MMM! MMM!" I tried to yell, but couldn't. I tried moving around as much as possible but he merely tightened his grip on me.

Finally, I felt the nauseating lurch of movement a few times and we were inside the Hokage's office.

**...**

The ANBU set me down on a chair and I glared at him with all my might. Funnily enough, glaring was much easier than smiling, I realized. Probably because Sasuke's natural habits were to brood and glare.

"Ahem," the sound of a throat clearing came and I looked around the room. Sitting behind the Hokage's desk was Hiruzen Sarutobi himself. Standing on his right was Kakashi the asshole – he was probably the one who made this happen. And standing on the Hokage's left were Ibiki and Anko.

'Oh, just fucking great. Fuck all of you shit maggots!' I tried to say, but it came out more like, "Inh, funh fufunh gunh! Funnh aanh ah oou mmh maffohh!"

All of them regarded me with wide eyes for a second before turning their attention to the ANBU.

"He resisted, Hokage-sama," the bear mask said.

'Fuck you!' I tried to say which came out as, "Funf mm!"

"Un-gag him please, Kuma," the Hokage said and the ANBU immediately pulled out the cloth from my mouth.

"Ugh," I groaned, moving my jaw to make it feel back to normal again.

"Would you please repeat what you said, Sasuke-kun?" the Hokage asked with a smile.

"Of course, Hokage-sama," I replied with just as much niceness. "I said, 'Good evening, to all you fine shinobi.'"

Anko snorted but was immediately shut up by Ibiki's glance.

"I can tell when someone is lying, Sasuke-kun," the Hokage said, with the same smile plastered on his face.

"Just like any half-decent shinobi should be able to, Hokage-sama," I said, my expression mirroring his.

"I don't like it when people lie to me, Sasuke-kun," he said in the same way.

"Neither do ninety-nine percent of the people on this planet, Hokage-sama," I replied, smiling.

The Hokage stopped smiling and looked at me with a deadly serious expression. "Sasuke, you are under suspicion of espionage and treason," he said and I started laughing my guts out.

"Yooooo, what the fuck? Espionage!? Treason!?" I laughed harder. "Where's the evidence? How the hell would you suspect me of that!?" I asked amusedly.

"This is not a joke, Sasuke!" Kakashi said with a serious voice.

"Psh, Konoha's justice system itself is a big fucking joke," I said. I turned my head to the left, looking at the ANBU who carried me here. "Oh, and you!" I said, scowling at him. "You're a bitch!"

I saw his shoulder twitch and Anko snorted, holding a hand over her mouth and looking to the side to hide her laughter. The subtle shaking of her shoulders easily gave it away though.

I schooled my expression on one of seriousness and spoke again. "Hokage-sama, I need to tell you something important," I said. Hiruzen nodded. "This guy," I said, gesturing to the ANBU with my chin. "He's a bitch!"

"Hah…" I heard Ibiki, and Kakashi sigh at once while Anko quickly excused herself from the office.

"Kuma, you're dismissed. Send in Lynx," the Hokage ordered, and the ANBU immediately disappeared. A couple of seconds later, another ANBU with long purple hair body-flickered in.

"Hokage-sama," she said and took up position beside me.

That was most likely Yugao. I looked at her for a second before clicking my teeth. "You're probably a bitch too," I said. Her arm instantly shot out and clocked me across the face, making me fall over to the other side of the chair.

"I suggest you don't make light of her, Sasuke," Kakashi said mirthfully.

I rolled over to look at him. "Heh," I chuckled and swallowed the blood in my mouth. I don't like to spit unless it's in a sink. "If anything, she's an even bigger bitch than you, dickhead," I said with a smirk. "Though it'd be a close competition, I reckon," I said, rocking around and slowly getting to my feet. "You kicked me in my face, but she punched me while I was tied up." I hopped over to my chair and sat down beside her, not showing a hint of fear. I knew they can't kill me, so I'm really not too scared. "Like it's obvious that both of you are shit-eating, cock-sucking cowards," I said with as malicious a smile as I could show, "but I don't know who's the bigger cunt." I looked at Kakashi. "The ex-ANBU captain who kicked his own genin in the head," I looked at Yugao, "Or the current ANBU **bitch** who punched a tied up genin in the face." I looked at the Hokage who was looking at me emotionlessly. "Hey Hokage-sama, I bet even pigeons fly upside down over these two cuz there's nothing worth shitting on!" I said and started laughing as I felt the killing intent roll of both the victims of my insults.

"Enough!" the Hokage roared and even I was surprised enough to stop laughing. "Sasuke, you are in a very precarious situation right now," he said.

"Ok," I replied. _Da faq you want me to do bout that?_

"Ibiki here," he gestured to the man in the long dark cloak with a hardass look on his face, "will ask you a few questions that will decide your innocence."

I looked at Ibiki for five seconds before speaking. "This guy looks like he wakes his alarm clock up in the morning."

"Hah…" a collective sigh from everyone – even the ANBU – filled the room.

"Just get to it, Ibiki," Hiruzen said.

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Ibiki replied. He moved to stand in front of me and looked down from his towering position.

"Ah, yes," I said, rolling my eyes. "The 'tower over your prisoner so he feels intimidated' tactic. How original."

"First of all," Ibiki started, ignoring my previous comment. "You stated that you believed Konoha's justice system to be a joke. Why is that?" he asked.

Should I just say everything I know about Danzo? If they ask me how I know it, I can just say that Itachi told me everything before he left. Or maybe I shouldn't since Itachi is still loyal to the village and they could just cross-examine the information. And I'm sure they'd believe him over me. Yeah, let's just make an excuse. "Because the Hokage is a dictator, and he dictates who dies and who gets to live. There is no **justice** in that. Konoha's so-called justice system is a massive fucking joke," I said, staring into Ibiki's eyes. Behind him, I heard the Hokage sigh.

"Very well. You are entitled to an opinion. Next question: your personality differs greatly from the academy sensei's reports. Why is that?"

"Cuz they're idiots. They just didn't know when to observe and probably only saw me on my sad days," I said. Ibiki raised an eyebrow as if to say 'Really? That's the best you got?' and I merely shrugged.

"We both know that is not true," Ibiki said. "Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Sasuke Uchiha. Genin, Konoha Armed Forces. Serial number 012606," I replied without hesitation.

Ibiki breathed in deeply and exhaled in frustration before turning to Hiruzen. "Hokage-sama, I think we may have to call in Inoichi-san," he said and that was finally when I felt a hint of fear.

The Hokage nodded and the air in the room shifted minutely, signalling the departure of one of the ANBU leaving to summon the Yamanaka clan head.

"This is your last chance, kid," Ibiki said. "Spill the truth now, or let it be revealed by a mind walker."

"If I don't say anything now, then the absolute truth will be revealed by the mind walk?" I asked.

"That's right," Ibiki answered with a smile, thinking that he got me.

"Psh, then rather than speaking now and letting you guys keep suspecting me, I might as well just wait for the mind walker creep to arrive and clear everything up," I said nonchalantly.

No one said or even showed a hint of anything, but I could feel the disbelief. I turned to the ANBU again. "And you!" I said. Unlike the previous one, she looked at me. "You're a bitch and I hope you get fucked by a fish."

* * *

**Don't get used to these fast updates, eh. On god, this is only because I suddenly found quite a bit of free time and motivation.**  
**As for the title, I'll just leave it as it is for now, but something like 'A Crackhead's Transmigration' sounds good. Transmigration isn't the word I'm looking for tho, so idk yet.**

**Anyway, leave a review if you liked it, and please stay safe amid this COVID crisis.**


	8. The Mindscape From Hell

**Warning:** Sort of, kind of, gory and disturbing. Idk tho, it's really not that bad tbh.

* * *

**8**

**The Mindscape From Hell**

* * *

After a few long minutes, I finally heard a knock on the door. "Come in," the Hokage said and Inoichi Yamanaka walked in.

"You summoned me, Hokage-sama?" he asked as he stood beside my chair.

"Yes, Inochi. Thank you for reporting promptly. I have a subject for you to mind walk," the Hokage said and gestured to me with his hand.

Inoichi looked at me and his eyes widened in surprise. I don't know if it was because of the sight of me bound and shirtless, or because of the bandages on my face that Kakashi had wrapped. Injuries, courtesy of the bitchy ANBU.

"Yo," I said with a smile that shot pain all throughout my face.

"Umm… Hokage-sama…" Inoichi began, not knowing what to say.

"Sasuke-kun here is under suspicion of espionage and treason. As such, I need you to investigate his mind as soon as possible," the Hokage said with a no-nonsense tone of voice. Sadly for him, I didn't give a shit whether he wanted nonsense or not.

"Ay, you know that's bullshit!" I yelled. "Bitch-face there is just shitting bricks cuz I spit some harsh truths that the man needed to hear," I said gesturing to Kakashi. "Oh, and did I mention you're a dickhead? Cuz you are. A big, pink, swollen dickhead," I said to Kakashi, adding it just for good measure.

"One thing I definitely admire is how colourful your vocabulary is," replied Kakashi with his eye smile.

"Suck my balls!" I retorted.

The Hokage interrupted me before I could say anything more than that. "Inoichi," he said to the speechless jonin. "Please start with your mind walking before things get out of hand... Again."

"O-Of course, Hokage-sama," Inoichi said and tried to put his hand on my head.

"You do that, and I swear to god it will be the last thing that you will ever do in your life," I said in a quiet, calm, matter-of-factly voice. "You will see things you wish you never did. I swear on my life, you will not come out of this unscathed." I wasn't saying this because I feared he'd find out who I was. I was saying this out of genuine concern. Even though I'm an asshole sometimes, it doesn't mean I'll take pleasure in killing a comrade. But if he doesn't heed my warning, I swear on my life, I'll make sure he becomes a vegetable.

Inoichi's hand paused.

"What is in your mind that is so traumatizing, Sasuke?" the Hokage asked.

"I cannot say. All I can do is promise you, it will not be a nice journey," I replied.

Inoichi looked at the Hokage for further instructions. Hiruzen stared at me and I stared back at him, our gazes unwavering. A minute later, the Hokage nodded. "Continue, Inoichi."

I clenched my jaw. I didn't like what I was about to do, but if I don't follow through with my promise/threat, they'll never take me seriously.

Inoichi put his hand on my head, and ran through some one-handed signs and said, "Saiko Denshin!" and I felt my world go dark. I immediately dug through Sasuke's memories as deep as possible to remember his memories of Itachi's Tsukuyomi.

After what could've been minutes or maybe even hours, the world finally cleared up.

I looked up at the blood-red sky and felt like it was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid my eyes upon. The pitch-black clouds that dotted the crimson expanse were like portals to hell itself. I heard a small gasp from behind me and turned around to see Inoichi standing there, eyes wide in disbelief. I looked down at my hands and clothes and found them to be the same as Sasuke. Alright, now that I don't need to worry about becoming my former self in my mindscape, let's proceed with the performance.

"Welcome, Inoichi-san," I said with a wide smile and a mocking bow as if I was an actor in a play. My devious grin was one that would even put Orochimaru's to shame. "To hell!" I gestured to the scene behind me. "Enjoy the show," I said and turned back around to watch it.

Inoichi walked slowly to stand beside me, his feet dragging as if held down by some invisible weight. "T-This…" he tried to say.

"This… is the night of the bloody fountains," I finished for him and watched in silence as Itachi began his dance of death.

He moved like a butterfly, tearing through body after body.

Shuriken ripped through arteries.

Kunai embedded themselves into innocent hearts.

Swords cleaved through brains.

Horrendous genjutsu made children tear their own eyes out.

Mothers shielded their children from the crazed ANBU's wrath, only for both of them to be run through with his sword at once.

One brave soul wove through hand signs for a Katon jutsu, only to find his hands reduced to stumps in a flash.

A child peeked out of a closet and found a woman's head come rolling towards her. Her own scream of terror was instantly silenced by a tanto ramming down into her.

The cries of men, women, and children filled the red sky, as intricate fountains of fresh, hot blood erupted and decorated the walls of shops and homes alike.

An orchestra of screams, a rain of tears, a river of blood… it continued on and on... until it didn't.

And then, it repeated.

Again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And **again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.****And again. And again. AND AGAIN. AND AGAIN. AND AGAIN. AND AGAIN. AND AGAIN. AND AGAIN.**

"No… STOP! STOP IT!" Inoichi screamed as he dropped to his knees. He weaved some signs to stop the jutsu, but his efforts were futile. "NO!" he screamed. His hands were gripping his ears while his eyes were clenched hard as if shut out reality itself. But the Tsukuyomi penetrated directly into the watcher's brain.

518,400 times the scene repeated itself. And by the end, Inoichi was lying limp on the floor of my mindscape, a cold, dead look in his eyes. His eyelid flickered a little bit as the scene didn't begin again, but instead, a clearing in a forest with black grass, white glowing trees, and the same blood-red sky as the Tsukuyomi faded into view.

But I couldn't allow that. I had warned him, but he didn't listen.

_**Now reap what you sow**_, I thought.

"We're not done yet, Inoichi-san," I said with a sweet sing-song voice. In the back of my mind, I realized that my eyes probably looked similar to his. Crazed, as if tainted by death itself.

I dug through my own memories. All the most violent scenes I had watched resurfaced. I dug up all the videos that I watched throughout my life on bestgore, the eyeblech subreddit, liveleak, saidit dot net, and played it one by one in a long compilation of pure blood, and death.

Inoichi's breathing laboured as he didn't even have the energy to move anymore. I wasn't afraid that some things in the video might reveal that I'm not from this world. He barely had the capacity to breathe; I doubted if he would even be in a functioning state after this was over.

**...**

As the long torturous session came to an end, I felt myself being forcefully pulled outwards. My eyes opened, and in front of me, I saw Inoichi standing still as a statue.

"Did you like it, Inoichi-san?" I asked with a tired smile as five days of mental stress hit me at once. After all, seventy-two hours of Tsukuyomi torture, plus a two days long traumatizing compilation, all smushed into a span of just a second really takes a toll on your body and mind.

I looked up at him, barely struggling to keep my eyes open at all, and saw his eyes slowly roll back into his head. Like a puppet with his strings cut, Inoichi immediately collapsed to the floor and two ANBU were by his side, already administering first aid.

"Haha, I told you so," I said, keeping a smile plastered on my face. Any weakness I show here will be taken advantage of. I couldn't afford to slip up. Not now.

"Sasuke. What the hell did you do to him?" Kakashi asked from behind me.

I scanned the room with tired eyes and saw the Hokage standing just a couple of metres away from me, looking at me with an angry expression. Ibiki was with the ANBU now, trying to see what was wrong with Inoichi while Anko was back in the room standing beside the Hokage's desk. Kakashi was behind me with a kunai to my throat, and the ANBU – Yugao – was still standing in her previous spot.

"I let him see my memories, Kakashi," I said with a relaxed voice. Of course, that wouldn't be enough of an answer for them so I decided to give them something more. "Do you know what Itachi did to me on the night of the massacre?" I asked and waited for a reply.

Seeing as how no one answered, I decided to tell them.

"He used his Mangekyou Sharingan ability and put me in a genjutsu, making me watch the entire night's massacre again, and again, and again!" I yelled, not even realizing how loud my voice had gotten by the end of my sentence. I calmed myself again. "Five hundred eighteen thousand four hundred. That's how many times I saw my clan and family being slaughtered like pests by the one person I looked up to the most." I turned my head up and back, looking from Hiruzen's wide-eyed expression to Kakashi. "So that's what he saw in my head. Don't blame me; I warned you guys beforehand."

Everyone in the room looked at a loss for words for a while before the Hokage started barking out orders. "ANBU, take Inoichi to the hospital and get him immediate medical attention," he said and the two ANBU disappeared with Inoichi. "Kakashi, stand down," the Hokage ordered, and I felt the cold touch of the kunai leave from my throat.

"Thanks," I said.

Hokage kept his stern visage and went back to sit down behind his desk. "Now Sasuke-kun," he said to me in a tired voice. "I believe this had dragged on long enough."

"I agree," I replied.

"So now we are going to do this the simple way. I will ask you one question. If you lie, or if I suspect you are lying, I will cut you down on the spot, Uchiha clan heir be damned," Hiruzen said and I blinked in surprise. "And if I think you are saying the truth, you will be free to go home. Do you understand?"

I stayed silent for a long minute, just staring at the Hokage with as much hate as I could muster. Finally, I looked at Kakashi. "I told you Konoha's justice system is a fucking joke," I said. "And YOU!" I said, looking at the Hokage and leaning forward so that he was completely focused on me. "Where was this version of you when Naruto was growing up, huh?" I asked, and relished in his utterly confused look. "Where was this strict Hiruzen Sarutobi when Naruto's education was being stunted by the Academy sensei? Where were you when he was denied the very basic of necessities from stores all throughout the village!? Where were you when all the people in this shithole hated the boy that they should be worshipping!? Where were you when he cried himself to sleep every night because of YOUR inaction!? Where were you then, **you fucking hypocrite!?**

"Oh, Look At ME, I'm HIruzEN SARutoBi. i CaRE sO mUcH ABOuT evERYoNE In THIs viLlAGE. i'M gOIng TO MAKE a LAw tHAT no ONE is AllOwEd to SPEak oF ThE kYuuBi BUT I'LL stIll LeT eVerYONE HAte NArUto. Oh tHE wILL Of FiRe buRNS brIGHtly," I said in the most sarcastic voice ever. "BULL-FUCKING-SHIT, you shrivelled up of pigeon livered swine! Will of Fire my ass! You don't believe in the Will of Fire. No, you believe in only what is advantageous for YOU! And before you ask me, Naruto himself told me and Sakura about his secret.

"Tell me, _Hokage-sama_," I said, just like how I call Kakashi '_sensei_'. "Did you tell Naruto that the Uzumaki clan is the cousin clan of the Senju? Hell, did you even tell Naruto that he was a part of a clan? You KNOW how much he yearns for someone he can call family, and you still let him suffer in isolation. Why huh?" I asked. I saw the Hokage slowly open his mouth to answer but I quickly interrupted him. "Let me answer that for you. It's because you want him to be loyal to **you** and not the village! It's because you're afraid that one day he'll see what you did and reject you! And this is not even the tip of the iceberg. If I were to recount every single selfish action you took, we'd be here all week. You know what? In the end, you're no better than—" I stopped myself from saying Danzo's name. It wouldn't do me any good to reveal any more than this. I calmed myself and spoke in a level voice. "Instead of **my** loyalty being questioned, it should be **you** who's in my position. As for your previous question, yes, I understand. Ask away," I finished and sat there, glaring at the man who could end my life in less than a second.

In the silence that followed, I took a look around the room. Anko had her eyes and mouth both wide open in surprise, Kakashi and Ibiki kept glancing between me and the Hokage, and the ANBU looked just and emotionless as ever. I heard a sigh and looked toward the source of the sound. The Hokage rested his forehead on his hands for a second before looking back at me. "Do you hold any ill intentions toward Konoha, its people, and/or its interests, Sasuke Uchiha?" he asked, and the ANBU put two of her fingers to my neck to check my pulse and tell whether I'm lying or not.

"No, I do not," I answered. "My goal is to make sure that one day Konoha stands on top as the strongest Shinobi village in the world." I was not lying at all, and as such, I did not need to fear anything.

I heard a rustle and saw the ANBU nod from the corner of my eye.

"Very well. Sasuke Uchiha, you are dismissed. Lynx, please drop him off at his house," the Hokage said.

"Don't bother. Just untie me and take the seal from my forehead off. I'll walk home," I replied with a scowl before the ANBU could say anything.

Within a few seconds, with the Hokage's approval, the ANBU had untied me and taken the seal off. I opened the door to leave the office and turned around at the last moment. "You're still a dickhead," I said, pointing at Kakashi. "And you're still a bitch," I said pointing at the ANBU. Instantly, I saw two shurikens come flying at my face… though I stood my ground. They were flying pretty slow, and I could've easily dodged them if I wanted to, yet I stood still. If she thinks she can intimidate me, I'll prove her wrong.

A disturbing 'squelch' sounded as the two deadly weapons embedded themselves solidly into my torso. The force of the throw made me step back a bit. It wasn't too deep, but it sure was painful as hell. Though, it kept my eyes on the ANBU. She abruptly took a step back and slowly looked back at the Hokage as if unsure of what just happened, and then looked back at me. I raised my arm to pull out the two shurikens from my body – I wanted to look badass but then quickly realized I'll probably die of blood loss – but stopped myself as a better idea hit me. I stuck out a thumb in a 'thumbs up' pose and smiled. "Thanks for the free weapons," I said, smiling and left the Hokage's office, closing the door behind me before any of them could say anything.

**...**

I walked down the main street of Konoha toward the Uchiha clan compound. To say this night was crazy would be one hell of an understatement. It wasn't pleasant, but I truly hoped that this would bring about some major changes in our day-to-day life. The Sandaime's complacency has gone on long enough.

"Ugh," I groaned, as my bare feet dragged on the rough ground and the chilly biting wind pushed against my naked upper body. Add on top of that the two shurikens that were still lodged in my torso, plus the punches that I took from Yugao and I just got the perfect mix for excruciating pain.

* * *

**Yo guys, I need a good idea for what to do after this, and before the chunin exams cuz otherwise, this will be the end of the quick updates for now and I'll jump straight into the next arc.**


	9. Kakashi's Dilemma

**9  
Kakashi's Dilemma**

* * *

Kakashi was a jounin, and a good one at that. Maybe even the best, right below the Hokage himself. An elite jounin, as some may like to call him. Not only that, but he was also a genius. A child prodigy competing with the likes of Minato Namikaze, the Fourth Hokage.

As a result, there weren't many – if any at all – things in life that confused him. But now, as ashamed as he was to admit it, Kakashi was confused. No wait, that was an understatement. He was bewildered.

Kakashi Hatake – who never got confused – was absolutely gobsmacked.

Reason? Sasuke Uchiha. It all began on the day of the team assignments.

Kakashi was sitting in the ceiling of Iruka's classroom, quietly observing his team-to-be. It was exactly as the Academy reports had stated. Blondie was loud, dumb, and obnoxious. Pinky was a vain fangirl. Pink-Eye was Brood McBroodyface. Nothing out of the ordinary… until the Uchiha had spoken.

"Self-centered, arrogant little fuckhead," Sasuke said, so quietly that Kakashi almost missed it. He raised an eyebrow in confusion, wondering why Sasuke was describing himself and where he learned that last word from.

Instantly, Naruto was offended – as expected, the blond thought the world revolved around him – but it was what followed that surprised Kakashi the most.

Sasuke's reaction was abrupt and violent, almost as if Sasuke had completely forgotten where he was. He looked at Naruto with a confused look before widening his eyes in surprise. He looked around as if in disbelief and then finally at the window before muttering, "no fucking way," and then sighing in resignation as the pink-haired girl – Sakura, was it? – asked him what was wrong.

The next event that surprised Kakashi was when Sasuke had said he was looking forward to working with Naruto. As soon as Naruto had voiced his objection at the team formation, Sasuke had smiled at Naruto and Kakashi had instantly pulsed his chakra once to dispel any genjutsu. "Naruto, I look forward to working with you," Sasuke had said and Naruto had somehow taken that as a challenge. Kakashi narrowed his eyes at Sasuke's new personality. It was almost as if he did a complete 180.

Kakashi sighed quietly and shook his head, deciding to finally go meet his new team when the new enigma started speaking again. His eyes got wider and wider in surprise as Sasuke described perfectly what each of their strengths and weaknesses was. For the first time in almost ten years, Kakashi brought his hand up to scratch his head in confusion.

The last time this had happened was when Minato was explaining to him why toads were better than dogs.

"Why are you helping and being nice now? You weren't like this before," Naruto asked and Kakashi listened keenly for Sasuke's answer.

"Life happened, Naruto," he answered and Kakashi commended Sasuke's ability to tell the truth without telling the truth. Like a true shinobi. Kakashi pushed off the floor and stood up, deciding to confront his team now.

**...**

Kakashi's eyelid twitched and he had a feeling it was something that was going to happen awfully often now. "Yeah my bad, I had to help an old granny with her groceries," Sasuke said when Kakashi called out his lateness.

The jounin didn't know how to reply to that, so he merely settled for a "I see," and moved onto introductions. Once again, Naruto and Sakura's introductions were exactly what he expected. It was when Sasuke had finally said his piece that Kakashi knew the boy had lost it. He liked training – fair enough, any half-decent shinobi should like to train – and sex…

_What the hell!?_ Kakashi thought. And little shit was smiling like a devil. It was when Sasuke declared his future plans without even mentioning Itachi once was when Kakashi concluded, _He's lost it!_

**...**

By all means, he should've reported this to the Hokage earlier. Maybe even as early as when he first sensed a change in Sasuke's demeanour. Maybe when Sasuke said he liked training and sex. Maybe when he knowingly showed up late to the bell test. Maybe when he had made the connection between Minato, Kushina, and Naruto. Maybe when he had started blatantly showing attitude and disrespecting Kakashi.

But now, he realized, he should definitely report this to the Hokage. Not only because of what Sasuke said before the wave mission, but also because he was, in the Uchiha's own words: "a potential flight risk".

So now, he had stayed back with the Hokage after his and Gai's debriefing.

"Go ahead, Kakashi," the Hokage said with a nod from where he was seated behind his massive oak table.

"Hokage-sama," Kakashi said. "I believe Sasuke Uchiha is a flight risk and/or an enemy agent and needs to be brought in for interrogation."

The Hokage blinked slowly as he let his top jounin's words sink in. "Why do you say that?" the Hokage asked, bewildered beyond belief. Before it became this serious, Kakashi should've come to him with his concerns. Exclaiming that Sasuke Uchiha was a flight risk all of a sudden? What in the world happened on this one mission!?

"I… believe I should start from the very beginning, Hokage-sama," Kakashi said and the old man nodded.

"Yes, perhaps you should," he said.

"It began when I was spying on my team during the team assignments," Kakashi began and explained his tale of his student's wild behaviour.

**...**

"And that's why I suspect Sasuke Uchiha to be guilty of high treason, espionage, sabotage, and attempted terrorism and I believe we should bring in Ibiki for the interrogation also," Kakashi ended.

The Hokage sat in silence, staring at Kakashi for a minute before speaking. "And you didn't think to report this earlier, why?" he asked. From what Kakashi described, not only was Sasuke a flight risk, but also had knowledge more than any genin, no matter how smart, should have. Knowing that Kakashi was an ex-ANBU captain, figuring out the relation between Naruto and the Yondaime, and also figuring out the Kyuubi secret. The Hokage held no doubt that Sasuke had figured it out already. He had told Kakashi that he had 'theories' only to play with his words. Truly, Sasuke was a genin of great concern at this moment.

"Well… I thought I could get him under control soon, Hokage-sama," Kakashi said with an ashamed look.

"Hah…" the old man sighed. "Tora, Kagura," the Hokage called and two ANBU instantly appeared, kneeling beside him. "Tora, go with two squads and bring Sasuke Uchiha here. Kagura, fetch Ibiki and Anko, and if possible, brief them on the way here," he commanded and the two ANBU disappeared.

"Why Anko?" Kakashi asked curiously.

"I was contemplating instating Konoha's Seduction Division as its own separate one, and naming her in charge. This will be a good experience for her," the Hokage said and Kakashi nodded.

Within a couple of minutes, the two top T&I operatives of Konoha stood in front of the Hokage.

"Ibiki, Anko, I've summoned you here to interrogate Sasuke Uchiha who is deemed a flight risk. I take it you've been briefed by Kagura?" Hiruzen asked and both, Ibiki and Anko, replied with an affirmative. "Very well. The ANBU should be here with Sasuke any minute," the Hokage said and Kakashi, Ibiki, and Anko took up positions beside him.

Five minutes passed and Anko's patience had finally run out. "Where are they!?" she asked no one in particular.

"Knowing him, he probably resisted," Kakashi said.

Not two seconds later, an ANBU flickered in with a bound, gagged, shirtless, barefooted Sasuke who was glaring murderously at the ANBU and dropped him on the chair. A pin-drop silence blanketed the office.

"Ahem," the Hokage said, breaking everyone out of their stupor.

Sasuke tore his eyes away from the masked shinobi and looked at the four people in front of him. "Inh, funh fufunh gunh! Funnh aanh ah oou mmh maffohh!" he said immediately.

All four shinobi formed a sweatdrop at the sight and the clear sound of at least three swear words.

"He resisted, Hokage-sama," the ANBU said, explaining the reason for Sasuke's condition. At the Hokage's orders, he un-gaged him and the interrogation began.

**...**

The office stayed enveloped in an eerie silence following the departure of the Uchiha. Mostly because of the disbelief that had spread through everyone seeing Sasuke tank two shurikens to the torso and still joke about it and leave. Not to mention the blatant disrespect he showed to the most powerful man in the country.

"Anko," the Hokage said after a long while.

"H-Hai, Hokage-sama," Anko answered, suddenly being pulled out of her thoughts.

"You seem conflicted," he said, having sensed how turbulent her chakra had felt and the minor fidgeting motion of her hands.

"I- uh… I am- I was just thinking," Anko said, stuttering and floundering for words.

"I see," the Hokage nodded. "Ibiki, Anko, whatever you heard tonight is to stay completely off the books. Think of it as an unofficial state secret. I do not want anyone to hear about this. You're dismissed," he said.

"By your leave, Hokage-sama," they said in unison and exited the office.

A weary sigh escaped the aged leader immediately. "Kakashi," the Hokage said. "What do you think?"

"About what, Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asked.

"About Sasuke-kun's rant."

Silence ensued for a moment and the Hokage allowed his jounin the time he needed to think.

"Honestly, I do not know what to think," Kakashi replied. "I am just as much to blame – if not more so – as anyone else for the neglect in Naruto's childhood. I imagine I would've been like Naruto's surrogate brother had Minato-sensei and Kushina-san survived... But I was too cooped up in grief and self-pity to even notice his son, his legacy, suffering," he said, voice dripping with self-loathing. "I don't think I deserve to judge anyone for their actions when I couldn't put the well-being of a child ahead of my emotions."

"And you, Lynx?" the Hokage asked. "What are your thoughts on the matter?"

"I remain Konoha's humble servant, Hokage-sama," she said without a waver in her voice.

"That is commendable," Hiruzen said. "But take off your mask. I'd like to know what Yugao Uzuki thinks."

The ANBU slid her mask off and revealed a beautiful face with two striking honey coloured eyes. "Permission to speak freely, Hokage-sama?" she asked with a bow.

"Granted," came the reply.

"I... Believe Uchiha-kun's argument is very hard to disagree with. I strongly condemn how he expressed his emotions but disregarding that, he brought up some very solid and logical points," Yugao said, ready to be admonished by the Hokage. Instead, she was surprised when he merely nodded 'hum' with his eyes closed. "Also, Hokage-sama, about the violence I inflicted on Uchiha-kun..." she tried to say but was instantly waved off by the Hokage.

"Do not fret. Those were my orders. You will be exempt from any legal actions he tries to take against you," Hiruznen said. He went for a long while before speaking. "Perhaps, I have been in this seat for too long now," he said and both, Kakashi and Yugao were at a loss for words. "I believed that as Minato's last wish, the populace would treat Naruto like a hero. Or at least a normal child. I hoped that our people would not be as blind to hate as the other villages… I had faith that the Will of Fire burned brightly in the hearts of our citizens…"

Kakashi chuckled. "The 'Will of Fire', huh?"

Hiruzen raised his head. "Is there anything you'd like to say?" he asked Kakashi, daring him to go on.

The Copy Ninja opened his mouth to say something before clicking it shut. "No, Hokage-sama. If I did, I'd be considered a hypocrite," he said.

"Do not forget what we fight for, Kakashi. And the values and ideals that this village was built upon. Konoha as a collective might have done wrong by Naruto, but one mistake doesn't make everything else pointless," the Hokage said.

"What exactly is the 'Will of Fire', Hokage-sama?"

Hiruzen stared at Kakashi for a second before reciting exactly what his sensei – Tobirama – had told him. "Everyone that resides in Konoha, be they civilians or shinobi, are like a family that come together to fight off any and all threats, be they foreign or domestic. That is what we fight for," he said, not knowing whether he even believed his own words anymore.

"And what category from that does Naruto fall into? Family? Foreign threat? Or a domestic threat?" Kakashi asked in a more venomous tone than he intended.

The Hokage sighed once more, looking older than he ever did. "What do you want me to say, Kakashi?"

"The truth."

"The truth is that I made some mistakes, and I regret them very much now."

"Then why haven't you done anything to fix it!?" Kakashi almost yelled, wishing for nothing more than to ask for Minato's advice. Sensei was always there for him when he needed him the most… But nothing lasts forever.

"You haven't either," Hiruzen said, reminding the Copy Ninja of his own flaws.

"You're right," Kakashi said. "And you can bet that as soon as I meet my team tomorrow morning, I will be making amends. Will you?"

"I cannot force the populace to love him."

"You don't need to."

"Then what else can I possibly do?"

"How about telling Naruto the truth? About everything. At this age, the least he deserves is to know about his own family and heritage," Kakashi said, making the Hokage wince.

"I don't know if he can keep a secret like that," Hiruzen debated but stopped at the disbelieving stare he received from Kakashi.

"He kept the Kyuubi a secret from both his teammates for this long. You really think he can't keep his heritage a secret!?" Kakashi asked.

Hiruzen sat in silence for a moment. "I will think about it," he said finally and Kakashi sighed, contemplating the punishment he'd get for telling Naruto about this himself. "For now, the two of you are dismissed," he said to Yugao and Kakashi.

Yugao saluted and disappeared instantly. Kakashi merely nodded and opted to use the door. Before he was out, the Hokage gave one last order. "Give your team a week-long break. They'll need it. Especially Sasuke."

"Understood," Kakashi said and left, leaving the old man to his own thoughts for the night.

* * *

**Aye, listen. I'm sorry for taking so long. I'm taking two summer courses right now and life's just been hectic. I'm gonna upload two chapters at once because this one is pretty short and I don't like it too much.**


	10. The Aftermath

**10**

**The Aftermath**

* * *

"Hey, kid," I heard from behind me. I turned around to see Anko standing there, staring at me with a sympathetic look in her eyes.

I decided to humour her. "What's up, Anko?"

She looked surprised. "You know my name?" she asked.

To be honest, I was way too tired, and in way too much pain to give a shit about my slip up. "Nah, I just guessed. You look like an Anko," I said, rolling my eyes. "No shit, I know your name. Anyway, what's up? What do you want?" I asked quickly while trying to sound irritated before she could ask what I meant by 'guessed'.

She looked at me in disbelief before shaking her head slightly. "You looked like you could use some help. Y'know, with two weapons embedded into you and whatnot," she said.

Huh…

"Well, damn. Now I feel like a dickhead for snapping at you," I said, scratching the back of my head. I probably shouldn't let my emotions dictate how I talk to innocent people from now on. Quickly making a note of that, I said, "Thanks for offering, but I'm good, I think."

Anko raised her eyebrows. "Yeah, no. That's two lethal weapons you've got in you. You definitely need to get that looked at, kid."

"And I will," I replied. "Just not at the hospital."

"Then where?"

"Dunno yet," I said, and turned around to continue home. "Oh, and the name's Sasuke. Not 'kid'."

I felt a strong hand grip my shoulder, making me wince as a few bruises around the area hurt. "You'll be dead before you get home, Sasuke. If not because of blood loss, then because of secondary infections, probably. You **need** a doctor," Anko said from behind me.

Hah!? Who the hell does she think she is? Does she think I can't take this much— My thoughts cut off there as another huge wave of pain washed over me. Shit, maybe she's right. But I really don't want to go to the hospital. I don't know why, but I feel like if I go there, they'll never let me out. My only option was to go to Naruto's place which was only a block from here. Sakura's home was farther, but still not as far as the Uchiha clan compound.

"Let me go," I said, shrugging her off. "I'm not going home. Don't worry."

"Then where are you going?"

"Don't worry about it," I said and kept walking, with legs that got heavier with each step. I gritted my teeth and fought through the exhaustion of reliving the Tsukuyomi, the ANBU beating, and the foreign objects in my torso.

It was only when I came to a stop at the base of the stairs that led to Naruto's apartment that I realized I was hearing two sets of footsteps this whole time. I glanced back tiredly and saw Anko standing there, gazing at me with worried eyes.

"Why are you still following me?" I asked, slightly thankful that she was there. Not that I'd let her know I was.

"To get you professional medical attention when you keel over," she said, sounding angry.

"Anko," I said, drawing her full attention. "Thank you, but you really don't need to. Did the Hokage order you to follow me or something?" I asked with a small amount of suspicion. I mean, it makes sense that he would.

"No, the Hokage didn't send me," she said. "And I'll be the one to decide whether I need to follow you or not."

I chuckled at her bullheadedness and started climbing the stairs, each breath and groan sending waves of excruciating pain all through my body. Nearly stumbling outside his apartment, I knocked loudly on Naruto's door. "Naruto!" I called out and waited. Hearing nothing from inside, I knocked again but realized that I barely had any energy left and my knocks were too weak. "Shit," I muttered. Just as I was about to lift my leg to kick the door, Anko reached over from behind me and knocked hard.

"If he doesn't answer, I'm taking you to the hospital," she said, sounding like she meant every word.

I smiled. The thought of someone caring for me – even if it was by order of the Hokage – warmed me.

I heard footsteps from beyond the door, and a second later, the door was thrown open. A sleepy Naruto stood there, rubbing his eyes.

I immediately reached over and flicked him in the forehead as hard as I could.

"Oww!" Naruto yelled, becoming fully awake. "What the hell, teme!?"

"Why did you open the door right away!?" I said, trying to sound angry. "What would you have done if I was a burglar or someone who wanted to kill you, huh!?"

Naruto went quiet, his mouth forming an 'o'.

"Anyway," I said quickly before he could reply. "I need a couple of favours. Can I crash here for tonight?" I asked, gesturing to myself.

His eyes panned down, over my naked upper body and any lingering sleep instantly disappeared from them. "Wha- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU!?" he screamed and I winced as the loud volume hit me like a truck.

"Long story," I said, waving him off. "Listen, can you please just go get Sakura for now? And let me rest on your sofa? I would've gone to her house directly, but yours was closer and honestly, I barely have the energy to stand right now."

"Uh… Y-Yeah, hold on, let me just put on some sandals right now!" Naruto said urgently. He ushered me in and only just now noticed Anko. "Who are you?" he asked her.

"Anko Mitarashi. Tokubetsu jounin. Serial number 011226," she said absently and followed me into Naruto's apartment.

"Uhh…" Naruto said, confused at the situation right now – I mean, who wouldn't be – but I cut him off before he could say anything.

"Naruto, I need Sakura! NOW!" I yelled out.

"Got it, got it!" he yelled back and disappeared into the hallway.

**...**

"You know, I could patch you up myself if you really didn't want to go to the hospital. You didn't have to send him to get her," Anko said to me once we were alone.

I was laid down on the sofa and Anko had pulled up a chair and was sitting beside me. She kept two of her fingers on my wrist, constantly monitoring my pulse.

"That would defeat the entire purpose of me taking these shurikens," I said. It wasn't the truth, but it wasn't a complete lie either.

"And what was the purpose, exactly?" she asked.

"This way, I could let my teammate get some experience as a medic. By treating my wounds in a relatively safe environment, she can not only get used to the sight of wounds and blood but also start getting experience of working under pressure," I explained.

Anko looked at me with wide eyes and raised eyebrows. I smirked at her reaction.

"You alive in there?" I asked as the silence stretched on.

"You really care a lot for your team, huh?" she asked with a small smile.

"They're the closest thing to a family I've got," I said as I shrugged, looking away from her and towards the ceiling of Naruto's apartment.

"Then why do you hate Kakashi?" she asked.

"I don't hate him," I answered.

Anko snorted. "Well, you sure have me fooled, then."

I sighed, not wanting to go through this again. "I swear on my life, I don't hate him. Dislike him? Yes."

"Then why do you treat him with such blatant disrespect?"

"Because of his incompetence."

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Anko staring at me as if I was an idiot. "You're calling Kakashi Hatake, the A-rank shinobi feared by almost half the ninja in this world… incompetent…"

Whether the Hokage sent Anko or not, whatever I say to her now will be reported to him. Now was my time to convey any messages I had for him. There was only one thing I wanted the Hokage to know. '**Don't fuck with me**'. And so, I began.

"I'm not calling him incompetent as a shinobi, but as a sensei," I explained to her just how I had explained to Naruto and Sakura. "I understand that he lost his entire team and his sensei, but that was more than twelve years ago, dammit. How self-centred and arrogant do you have to be to think that you could protect your genin team from any and all dangers that they'll face in the future? Like, he literally didn't teach us anything! Not only that, but he also expected three genin, fresh out of the academy, to work together as a team while pitted against one another." I took a deep breath. "And it's not only his fault either. Yes, he should get some help – counselling or therapy or whatever – and move on, but it's the Hokage's fault too for assigning a **broken jounin** as a sensei to us. Hell, even a chunin would be a better teacher than he is." I sighed and shook my head. "It's even worse that I know the real reason the Hokage assigned him to us."

"And what's this real reason?" Anko asked quietly.

"To keep us in check. Well, not Sakura, but Naruto and me. Naruto is a jinchuuriki so that means Konoha can't possibly afford to lose him. And going by how he's been treated by the people here, it's a goddamn miracle he's still loyal. And me… Well… When I was in the Academy, all I cared about was power. All I wanted was to kill Itachi. The Hokage probably thought of me as a flight risk and assigned Kakashi to me so that he can stop me or kill me in case I go missing-nin, and/or to train me in the techniques of the Sharingan to 'satiate' my thirst of power."

"What makes you so sure that this is the 'real' reason?"

I thought for a second before shrugging once again. "Call it a hunch."

Anko hummed. "You said that in the Academy, all you cared for was power and all you wanted was to kill Itachi. Is it different now?"

"On the night of the massacre, I asked my brother why he did it. He said, 'to test the limits of my ability'." I shook my head. "He was lying. I know why he really did it… and I can't even blame him for it. Like, yeah, he went WAY overboard by killing all the children too, but his heart was in the right place," I said.

I looked at Anko and her eyes were wide as saucers. "WHAT!?" she yelled. "What the hell do you mean, 'his heart was in the right place'!?" Composing herself a little bit, she looked at me worriedly. "He massacred your family. How can you possibly agree with what he did?"

"I'm not agreeing with what he did. All I'm saying is that he had the right reason in his mind."

"What reason?"

I shook my head. "I can't say. But eventually, this village will find out and hail him as a hero," I said.

Anko looked flabbergasted. "You do realize that if I tell the Hokage this, he'll ask you for the real reason."

"Don't tell him then," I said, looking at her with a smile.

Anko chuckled. "It doesn't work like that, Sasuke," she said.

Just as I was about to ask how it did work, Naruto burst through the door with Sakura hot on his heels.

"Sasuke/Sasuke-kun!" The two of them shouted at the same time.

"Calm down, I'm still alive!" I said to them before noticing that Sakura looked like she had been dragged here half-asleep, and still in her nightclothes. "Hey Sakura. Cute pyjamas!" I said with a smile.

"Sasuke-kun! What happened!?" Sakura asked as she was by my side in an instant.

"Ah, nothing much. Just a little altercation," I answered with a placating smile, hoping to calm her down.

"Nothing much!? You have two shurikens in you!" she said, actually sounding angry and I smiled. Seeing her care that much about me – and actually care, not just fangirling over me – made me proud to call her a teammate.

"Ah, well, it's a long story, to be honest. But for now, I didn't go to the hospital because I wanted you to get some experience treating wounds and injuries in a relatively safe environment first, instead of being thrown into the field and having to treat injuries while all hell broke loose around us," I explained and that seemed to calm her down a little.

Sakura still looked like she had something to say but she held her tongue and nodded resolutely.

"Naruto, do you have a first aid kit?" I asked. I knew he did. All of us had to carry the basic medic kit that was sealed in a scroll.

"Uh, yeah! Lemme just go get it!" he said and ran to his bedroom to find it.

**...**

Sakura was on her knees beside me, slowly cleaning up around the first shuriken wound and applying first aid while Naruto and Anko sat a couple of metres away, watching over me worriedly.

"Naruto, come here," I said. My voice came out weaker and raspier than I intended.

Naruto hopped out of his chair and ran to be by my side. "Yeah, what's up, Sasuke?" he asked. I cleared my throat.

"Sometimes, on a mission, there'll be a situation where one person is wounded, one is applying first aid, and the third person will have to be on the lookout for, or defend from attackers. You'll be getting that experience right now too," I said to him.

"What? How?" he asked, confused by my words as Anko looked at us suspiciously, no doubt having heard what I was saying.

"I have something I need to tell you about your family, but Anko might try to stop me," I told him. "You need to make sure she doesn't interfere."

"Huh? W-Why?" Naruto asked.

"Have some shadow clones stand guard around us while I'm speaking," I said, ignoring his question.

Naruto looked from me to Anko who was still seated and watching us with an inquisitive look. "I… I don't think—"

"Naruto! Now!" I said forcefully, interrupting him. He paused for a split second before instantly making three shadow clones and sending them to surround us.

"Listen to me, Naruto. Your last name is Uzumaki, right?" I said.

"Yeah, so?" he asked me.

"Did you know that they're a clan. The Uzumaki clan," I told him.

"What…"

"Not only that— Ow!" I said as Sakura pulled out the first shuriken. I continued, hearing a small 'sorry' from her. "Not only that, but they are actually a cousin clan of the Senju – one of Konoha's founding clans. I heard that they specialize in sealing jutsu and were wiped out during the second war by a coalition of Iwa, Kumo, and Kiri forces. They requested assistance from Konoha, but we were too late and the entire clan was destroyed while the survivors fled to different places."

"W-Wait, Sasuke…" the clone tried to say but I continued.

"If you look at the memorial stone, you'll see another Uzumaki named 'Kushina Uzumaki'. I thought she was your mother. I was going to tell you when I saw it, but Kakashi told me not to. I know that their defining trait is their bright red hair. That's all I've got for now, but I think you can find more info in the library and archives building," I finished and bit back another yell as Sakura pulled out the second shuriken.

"How… how do you know this!?" the clone asked, his eyes watering.

"I told you: the library," I lied skillfully.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier!?" he asked, sounding angry.

"Because I couldn't be sure and I didn't want to give you false hope."

"And you are sure now?"

"No."

"Then what changed?"

"I just don't give a shit anymore. I was just interrogated by the Hokage, Kakashi, two interrogators from T&I – one of which your clones are talking to right now – and was used as a punching bag by the ANBU. That's how I was injured," I said, and his eyes went wide. "I don't give a shit if it's legal to tell you this or not. I just needed to tell you before they deem me unnecessary and kill me."

"What!? Why would they kill you!?" the clone said, bewildered.

"Because I know more than I'm supposed to."

Naruto sat there wide-eyed for a second before dispelling his clones.

"What the hell?" he whispered with a traumatized look on his face.

"You okay, kid?" Anko asked him with a raised eyebrow.

Naruto stayed silent, looking as if he was contemplating his whole life. Anko didn't question any further and merely watched us curiously.

"Okay, done," Sakura said as she finished bandaging me.

"Thanks, Sakura," I replied with a small smile.

"Now do you want to tell me how this happened?" she asked with a stern expression. I can't lie, I was impressed that she was unperturbed by my… Sasuke's smile.

"Eh?" I asked as I averted my eyes. "Well…" I brought my hand up to scratch my cheek.

"I, uh…" I trailed off as I realized what I was doing. Lying to her now will only break the trust between us. To build a stronger relationship, I have to tell her the truth. "I'll tell you after Anko leaves," I said, gesturing to the special jounin sitting on the chair.

Anko looked taken aback. "What? Why?" she asked.

"Because it's awkward that you were also there, saw the whole thing go down, and still didn't do anything to stop it from happening," I answered, shrugging my shoulders.

"It was the Hokage's orders! I can't go against that!" she said, trying to justify her actions– or rather, inaction.

"I don't care. You did nothing to stop them and merely stood by and watched as a person abused their authority and brutally assaulted an innocent person," I replied.

"Innocent!? You were under suspicion of high treason, espionage, sabotage, and attempted terrorism!" she said with a 'are you serious?' expression.

"HUH!?" All of team seven said at once.

"The Hokage said only treason and espionage!" I replied, bewildered.

"Hah…" Anko sighed. "Yes, but you were under suspicion of much more. High treason because we thought you were selling Uchiha clan secrets to outsiders, espionage because we thought you were giving information about your team to enemies, and sabotage because we suspected you were trying to encourage your teammates to rebel against your sensei and Konoha. I wasn't allowed access to information about why you were suspected of terrorism."

A moment of heavy silence passed as I tried to make sense of what just came out of Anko's mouth.

"Okay," I said and took a deep breath. "What happened to the 'innocent until proven guilty' law?" I asked. I am 99.9 percent sure that that law didn't exist. Do I care? Hell to the fucking NO! Fake it till you make it!

"Huh? Was there a law like that?" Anko asked.

"Yes. There was and still is," I answered quickly before she could try to remember anymore. "You know what, Anko? I really appreciate that you watched over me till I got here, and I thank you very much for that, but can you please just leave and let me talk to my friends in private?" I asked, trying to be as polite as possible.

Anko merely shook her head in disbelief and stood up. "Yeah, okay. Get well soon, kid," she said as she walked to the door.

"Thanks," I replied just as she stepped out and left.

**...**

"So? Where do you want me to start?" I asked my two dumbstruck friends.

* * *

**I hope you guys liked this one better than the last. Even though not much happened.  
**


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